Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Golden Girls
Character/Pairing: Dorothy/Blanche, mentions of Men/Blanche, Sophia cameo
Rating: Soft R/M
Challenge/Prompt: fffc r18.21: Surgery
Word Count: 1,081
Date Written: 6 November 2018
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
“I can do it!” Dorothy argued vehemently. “I can give you what you want, Blanche! I can take the surgery!”
“Dorothy,” Blanche protested, her gentle voice a surprising contrast to her secret lover’s, “Ah know Ah go on an’ on about men an’ Ah insist on still seeing some o’ ‘em, but -- “
“You go out every night!”
“Not every night! Ah didn’t go out . . . “ She thought quickly. “ . . . last Sunday -- or th’ Wednesday before that!”
“One day a week, Blanche,” Dorothy said, her thunderous glower scolding her more than her words. But the next thing that she said hurt Blanche far more as she asked quietly, “Don’t I mean more to you than that?”
“Of course you do!” Blanche cried. “Look Ah won’t go out tonight! Ah’ll cancel mah date with Ernie! An’ when was th’ last time Ah brought one home, Dorothy?” she questioned her point blank. “Ah don’t make you look at ‘em, an’ we agreed when this . . . when this thing between us,” she fluttered her hand back and forth, “first started that we would keep this relationship open! Ah can’t help it that men find me far more attractive than you so Ah get more dates!”
“I don’t try to get dates,” Dorothy announced stiffly, “not any more. I don’t need men in my life.” Her eyes seemed to bore into Blanche’s as she admitted, “All I need is you.”
“Ah -- Ah’m sorry, Dorothy, but men can offer me a certain something that you can not -- “
“That’s why I said I would take the damn surgery! Do you think I really want to be a man, Blanche?! No! Of course not! But I will do whatever it takes for me to make you happy where you don’t feel like you have to throw yourself on every man you come across!”
“Ah do not throw mahself on men!” Blanche said indignantly. “Ah have no need of debasing mahself like a typical trollop! Men come to me! Ah don’t beg any one!”
Dorothy sighed. Her shoulders sagged. Her hands lowered. “Maybe I said the wrong words -- “
“You darn tootin’ you said th’ wrong thing! Blanche Devereaux does not throw herself on any man! Men throws themselves at her for being such a passionate, beautiful mastery of God’s creation!”
“Both of you have said way too much tonight!” Sophia’s stern voice suddenly cut into their argument. “And I am not going to be like Liss Miss Muffet and just hum my way around the kitchen pretending I don’t have ears! Especially when all you need is one of these!” She opened her wicker purse, took out an instrument Dorothy especially would never have thought to see her mother so much as touch, and threw it at her daughter.
It smacked Dorothy in the chest. She grabbed it before it could fall and looked at it in amazement, holding it several inches away from her.
“Oh don’t look so shocked, Pussycat! I don’t know how Slut Puppy didn’t already think of it, but that will solve all your problems!”
“She’s right, you know,” Sophia continued a moment later as Dorothy and Blanche both stared at the object she’d thrown at them. “You are too old to undergo any surgery without it posing risks to you. You already look like a man anyway. That’s the one thing you’re missing.”
“It -- “ Dorothy made a face. “It looks so real!” she cried out. “Ma, where did you get this?!”
“Never mind where she got it!” Blanche exclaimed. She reached out and touched the item that looked so much like the male anatomy she truly did crave far too often. “It feels so real!” she cried. She bent forward, squeezing the part, and started to take her mouth toward it . . .
Sophia cried out in disgust and flew her hands up between them. “Geez! Keep it in the bedroom!”
Blanche stopped and looked at her. “Well, we are in mah bedroom, Sophia,” she pointed out.
“Yeah! And I’m leaving! I’m leaving!” Sophia backed quickly out of the room, not daring another look at them. “You’re welcome!” she shot back at them as she slammed the door shut behind her.
Dorothy shook her head slowly, chuckling. “After all these years,” she admitted, “that woman still never ceases to amaze me.”
“Do you think it’s . . . used?” Blanche asked, eyeing the strap on.
“How am I supposed to know?”
“No, it’s not used!” Sophia called back to them. “I always knew Dorothy would end up needing one!”
“MA!” Dorothy cried, her free hand flying to her shocked, wide open mouth.
Blanche’s eyes darted from Dorothy to the closed door behind which Sophia stood. “Well, thank you!” she called.
“You’re welcome! I’m still surprised you didn’t think of it, Slut Puppy!”
She should have, but she had never known how Dorothy would react to wearing one since it was such a blatant suggestion that she needed her to have a man’s true anatomy. Of course she had also never expected to catch her with brochures promoting sex change operations, especially at this late time in their lives. But Dorothy had always been willing to do anything for her, to give anything -- “Dorothy,” she swallowed hard as her own, wide eyes swung back to the masculinity toted by her woman’s strong, manly hands, manly hands that were always so masterful in giving her everything she’d ever asked from her.
“What about Ernie?” Dorothy asked with a small smirk.
“What about Ernie? Ernie who?”
“Are you going to cancel your date or not?”
“Ah can cancel him when he shows up, tell him Ah’m sick or somethin’. But right now,” she declared, beginning to disrobe, “neither one o’ us is leavin’ this bedroom!”
Dorothy waved the strap on; Blanche’s hungry eyes followed its every movement. “So you won’t go out with him tonight?”
“No! Ah’ll go to th’ door coughin’ an’ actin’ feverish when he arrives, but we’ve still got a good two hours before he comes!” Her eyes fixed with Dorothy’s. “An’ Ah want to cum many times before then,” she stated firmly.
Dorothy grinned and undressed faster than she ever had before in her life! It was going to be a night to remember for the rest of their lives, and finally, finally, she was going to put an end to Blanche and her endless string of men! She’d show her, before the sun rose again, that she was all and would always be all she’d ever need again in her boudoir.