Author: Kat Lee
Fandoms: DC's Legends of Tomorrow/Supergirl
Rating: Soft R/M
Challenge/Prompt: femslash100100 26: Zipper and beattheblackdog 127: Space
Word Count: 1,283
Date Written: 18 September 2018
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to DC Comics, not the author, and are used without permission.
Alex was practically shaking when she fell out of the bed. It was nothing short of a miracle that the woman she’d slept with, and whose name she could barely remember, did not wake at the loud thump that her butt made when she hit the floor. For one dread-filled moment, she’d thought she would, and she would have to come up with some kind of explanation for her behavior and apologize for breaking the other woman’s heart.
Women weren’t supposed to do this to other women! Anger and embarrassment broiled within her, warring for dominance, as heat flushed her neck and face. She wasn’t supposed to act like this! She was the one who was always the epitome of good morales. She didn’t hurt others unless they deserved it and it was in the line of duty! She certainly didn’t break the hearts of good women!
Her hands actually did shake as she ran them over her face, trying in desperation to calm her raging nerves. She couldn’t believe she’d done this to -- to -- to -- She peeked through her fingers at the beautiful blonde who’d turned over in the bed they’d shared, the bed where her half was even now beginning to grow cold. She had to get out of here!
But she didn’t know her name! Dear Lord, she had made love with the woman, and she didn’t even remember her name! Was it Mary? Drary? Quite Contrary? Hell, her frazzled, scared, and hung over mind wasn’t making any sense! That was it, she told herself determinedly, trying to calm her ragged breathing.
That was it! This was all the Scotch’s fault! It wasn’t her fault! She didn’t normally act like this! She only went with the woman to bed, because she was drunk. But how lame was that?! Alex rolled her eyes, and a groan escaped her before she could stop it. She clapped both hands over her open mouth and looked, through widened eyes, at the woman on the bed, the woman who, like herself, had been hurt and had been trying to forget something, even if she had claimed to merely like the taste of Scotch. Alex liked the taste too, but as the blonde had said, only women who were trying to forget something terribly painful drank like that!
There! She’d remembered something clearly from last night! All hope was not lost! She might yet remember the other woman’s name! But even if she did remember her, and even if she had been drunk, that was still no excuse to act . . . to act like a . . . to act like a man, who only wanted a woman for a piece of ass to get himself over his last, nasty breakup!
Alex’s heart suddenly felt like a dead weight in her chest. The room seemed to close in around her. Her breathing started to catch again and become even more ragged than before. That’s what was wrong with her! She was one of those Lesbians, one of those women who were the man in the relationship, a woman who broke other women’s hearts!
Tears welling in her eyes, Alex started yanking on her dress. She managed to pull it up and push herself to her feet. It took several more minutes of struggling both to be quiet and to make her hands work before she managed to zip up her dress. She spun quickly around the room, grabbing her underwear, shoes, and wallet, but as she straightened, she caught sight of the blonde again, who still, somehow, despite all the noise she was making, had not awakened. Thank God she was a heavy sleeper!
Alex stilled and watched her for a moment. Her back was to her, but she remembered what her face looked like. She especially remembered how it shined when she smiled and how she was so beautiful that, at times, last night, even through the heavy haze of the hard liquor, it had almost hurt to look at her. What had followed after did hurt. There was no excuse for her behavior, none!
Yet . . . Yet, somehow, she could not quite bring herself to regret it. She regretted hurting her. She regretted forgetting her name. She regretted the fact that this could be no more than a one night stand, what with the fact that they were on a freaking alternate Earth and all. But she didn’t regret spending last night with her. She didn’t regret helping her to forget her pain and forgetting some of her own in the process, something she hadn’t even thought possible, especially so soon.
So soon. It had only been a few weeks since her break up with Maggie, hadn’t it? Yet here she was with another woman already, having made love to her . . . but not having fallen in love with her. She still loved Maggie. Perhaps she always would, but she didn’t regret being with the blonde.
She wished it didn’t have to be this way. She wished she wouldn’t be hurt when she awoke to find her gone. She wished things could be different, that they could at least be in the same universe so that they would stand a chance at attempting a relationship, but there was nothing she could do to change those facts. Long distance relationships could work, but not so long that the two people in them were in completely different dimensions!
She shook her head. It was her fault that she’d gone to bed with her. It was her fault that she’d break her heart. But it wasn’t her fault that there was simply no way things could ever work out between them. She was free from that one responsibility at least, but of course, it wouldn’t matter if she hadn’t gone to bed with her in the first place!
But try as she might, she could not bring herself to actually, truthfully regret last night. The blonde groaned in her sleep; Alex turned and fled the room. Yet, even as she hurried to put as much space as she possibly could between them, she couldn’t seem to help the smile that lifted her lips -- or the giggle, the actual giggle that burst free from her mouth. She quickly covered her mouth again and hurried away into the rising sun.
It wouldn’t do to be discovered, not now, not when she was clearly holding her panties for the world to see -- Alex stopped and shoved them and her bra as hard as she could into her pumps. She then clung the shoes to the front of her shoes, their heels sticking out where no one could see what was between them and her heaving breasts. She’d have to stop somewhere soon and get properly dressed, but for now, she was intent on running away.
And remembering. She smiled and laughed giddily again. What a night last night had been! She had never felt more free in her life, and although the poor woman she’d slept with would pay the painful price for it, Alex also couldn’t help remembering that it had been a long, long time since she’d felt not only so carefree but also so happy.
She could be happy without Maggie. There was a chance yet she might be able to have a happy future with some beautiful woman somewhere, even if it couldn’t be . . . She groaned and slapped her forehead. She had to find out the blonde’s name, and soon! She sighed, smiled again, and shook her head at her own self. Oh, what a night it had been! She’d remember it, and her, especially once she learned her name again, forever!