Author: Kat Lee
Character/Pairing: Jareth/Sarah, Sarah/OMC
Challenge/Prompt: fffc r18.15: Insatiable
Warning(s): Future Fic
Word Count: 1,638
Date Written: 12 August 2018
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
His need to see her was insatiable. He should have given up watching her years ago -- the foolish girl was no good for him, after all -- but he’d been unable to deny himself the privilege of watching her beauty even if it was only from afar and even knowing that she would never love him. Even knowing what was coming.
He had refused to believe it was actually happening even when he’d seen her in the traditional, white dress. He had watched every moment, and yet with every nervous breath the bride-to-be had taken, he had believed she would call off the whole silly proceedings. She couldn’t marry a man that was so far below him. She couldn’t possibly love him, not when she’d had the best and thrown him away.
Yet she had. She had gone through with the wedding, and now her honeymoon was about to begin. Jareth should have turned away long ago. He had many, far more important matters beckoning for his attention after all. Heck, even having Trely shine his boots so that he could see his reflection when he looked down at his royal feet was more important than watching the woman he loved be stupid and naive enough to marry a mortal who could offer her absolutely nothing.
Why had she done it? he pondered, shaking his head and stroking his regal chin. Why had she thrown him away when he could offer her an entire world and yet taken the hand of this blight upon the Earth who didn’t have so much as a job whose income he could offer her? Jareth ran a gloved hand through his long, blonde locks. After all his years of watching the o;world above and witnessing mortals do foolish things, he still didn’t understand their species. The whole bloody lot of them were fools!
He should turn away. It was the right thing to do for a number of reasons, not the least of which was that he could feel his dignity crumpling away with every breath taken by the one he should never have let get away. He should have forced himself on her, but he could not. The curse placed upon him could only be broken by true love, and that love had to be genuine. Thus it was that he remained trapped while she denied the love he knew she felt for him and ran off with some fool bloke who looked nearly as bad as Hogwart.
Thunder rumbled in the distance, both above and below ground, but Sarah would never understand that the rumbling was his own breath grumbling, his own aggravation increasing with every second that passed while she continued to deny him and ready herself for her first night as a married woman. She never had understood his power, and now she would never taste it again. “Foolish girl,” he murmured, turning away from his crystal ball at last. He could have given her everything; yet, now, she would have nothing through her own choices.
He’d never look in on her again, Jareth swore. She had chosen her life, chosen her bed, chosen her imprisonment, and that was exactly what a marriage to the man she had chosen would be. He shook his head as rain threatened to pour from the heavy, green sky of his labyrinth. She would not drive him to tears again tonight. He felt sorry for her, but he would not spend another second wasting his time and thoughts upon her or feeling sorry for himself. There had to be another girl out there, one whose beauty eclipsed Sarah’s like his own beauty eclipsed that of the moon’s, one who would want, accept, and love him for all he had and could give her, one who was worthy of the gifts he sought to bestow upon her. Sarah wasn’t. She couldn’t be for one had to be willing to accept something before they could be worthy of it.
With a wave of his hand, Jareth vanished his crystal balls. He wished it was as easy to vanquish Sarah’s presence from his heart and mind, but time healed all wounds. With time, he would learn to forget all about her as she had chosen to forget about him. It had only been fifteen years since she had been in his land and almost under his control. Fifteen years might have made her feel like an old woman. Time might have made her desperate enough to lower herself to take the hand of a man who could never deserve her. It might have made her feel like an old woman, but to Jareth, and beings of similar superiority, fifteen years was hardly more than a blink of an eye.
He sighed. He had a kingdom to rule, subjects to make cower, and more foolish girls to teach. He had no further time to waste on Sarah Williams or the way she had made herself so very inferior to everything he deserved to have in a lady to rule beside him, to dote upon, to love, and be loved by. Time marched on, and so, too, did he. He would not allow himself the pleasure, or the self-condemnation, of looking in on the girl again.
If only he had, though, Jareth might have seen her weeping as she stood and surveyed herself in the mirror of the small bathroom in the hotel where her honeymoon was to take place. He might have seen her touching her rounded belly or moaning aloud about the foolish errors she knew she had made. In one night’s worth of mistakes, she had given up everything that had ever meant something to her. She had given up her greatest treasures, including the Goblin King and her chance to be loved by him, to be his Queen, and to admit her own love.
And in another night, in trying, years later, to get over that same King, she had made another huge mistake, giving her body, but not her love, to a man who was by far inferior to the one whose handsome, sensual image she carried every day hidden away in her heart and mind. Those two mistakes, Sarah knew, had cost her her life and any chance she’d had of being happy. Now she was married to another man, one who she did not and already knew she would never love. She was married to another man who would never even so much as believe in half her dreams, but he would give his name to the child she carried.
Sarah sighed, touching her stomach and thinking of the unborn child for whom she’d just given away her future. This was the second time she’d made such a sacrifice for a child. Yet she didn’t even know where the other child was. She had no idea where Toby was these days. He would never know what she had done for him, how she had condemned herself to living without love to save his life and future as a human. Nor would this child ever know the sacrifices she made for her, or him.
She’d never know, but Sarah knew. They weighed heavily upon her. Of all the things she’d done, of all the lies she’d spoken, of all the mistakes she’d made, the one she regretted most was never telling Jareth that she loved him. Yet she surely couldn’t do so now even if he was to return to her, not that he would. She’d often dreamed of his coming again for her, of him giving her another chance, one where Toby’s future did not hang in the balance, where she could decide for herself with her decision and her love only impacting herself and Jareth and not condemning Toby to a life he couldn’t have possibly chosen for himself -- and wouldn’t even if he had been old enough to choose. After all, no human wanted to live as a Goblin.
But she had wanted to live as the Goblin Queen, not to rule over anyone but to be Jareth’s wife, to be his love. Now that future, along with any other future of happiness she might possibly have been able to procure for herself, was long gone. She had only two things left, to give birth to this child she carried when the time came and to live the rest of her days knowing neither happiness or love.
But she had caused this child to be brought into the world. It was her own foolish decisions made in trying to get over Jareth that had caused her to become impregnated with this precious spirit. She would not condemn the baby, her baby, even though she herself was condemned. Her future had been taken from her, but her child would have a future. She, or he, would have a future and the last name of the man she had married today. She could give her baby that much at least.
Sarah sighed, wiped the tears from her eyes, and moved forward into the only future she had left, that of a doting wife to the man whose heart was big enough that he’d not only agreed to marry her knowing she was pregnant but also promised to be a father to her baby. She could have done much worse for herself, Sarah told herself; she could have done much worse for them both. At least her child would be loved, and so would she, even if she never learned to love her husband. She knew she wouldn’t. The most she could ever care for him was as a friend for her heart would belong to another, to a King of a fairy tale world no less, until the day she died. Sarah cried, as did Jareth, but they moved on.