Author: Kat Lee
Character/Pairing: Bank (Bobby/Hank), Kurt, Charles, Jean, light Charles/Erik, OCs
Challenge/Prompt: 1_million_words: Bingo: Adorably Out of Their Element and My own challenge to write a Christian fic every month
Warning(s): Contains mentions of Bestiality and Christian Themes
Word Count: 3,046
Date Written: 16 June 2018
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.
“I am not at all certain about this,” Hank murmured. “As much as we try not to bring attention to ourselves, Robert, are you sure this is a proper place for us to be?”
“Hank, it’s the place to be for our people!”
Hank peered over the top of Bobby’s head into the shadowy corners of the club. “What makes you certain that they are like us?”
Bobby rolled his eyes. “Not those people, Hank! Our other people! It’s the most happening gay club in New York!” Bobby turned to face him and broke out laughing at the expression on his concerned face. “Don’t get your blue hairs all knotted!” He grabbed his hand, threaded their fingers together, and gave him a gentle, reassuring squeeze. “We’ll be fine here!”
“But if the image inducer happens to malfunction -- “ he whispered anxiously.
“We’ll still be fine! This community isn’t like most mainstream communities, Hank! We’re all different here which means we have something in common! We don’t judge people who don’t judge us.”
“Did they just light up what I think they lit up at the table in the far left?” Hank sniffed the air, and his eyes, cast a blue shade because of the inducer, widened. “They did! Robert, we should not be here!”
“Hank,” Bobby almost whined, tugging harder on his hand whose fur he could feel was standing on end, “what did I just say, huh? We don’t judge people who don’t judge us.”
Hank pushed his spectacles back up onto the bridge of his nose with his other hand. “We are not ones to judge, Robert,” he agreed, dropping his voice down to a whisper, “but if things such as that are going to be happening here, this is also not a place where the Professor would want us!”
“Ever since you came back from the Avengers, you’ve been so tight, Hank. You need to let loose a little.”
“I tried living loosely,” Hank argued, his voice nearing a growl. “Look at what it got me!”
“Yeah, scrumptious blue fur and some claws that can do some serious damage.” Bobby grinned up at him. “You’re the next Wolverine except way cuter!”
“Robert, it is not a laughing matter -- “
“We have to choose where we take our laughs, Hank. If we just wait for this life to give them to us, we’ll never get to laugh. We’ll never get to be happy. That’s why we’ve just go to lay back, go with the flow, and let ourselves be sometimes! You keep forgetting we’re not actually adults yet, baby! We’re still teenagers! We need to live while we can!”
“And as teenagers, what are you two doing here?”
“It’s all right, Mish. Bobby’s cool. He’s a friend.”
Mish looked at the muscular person wearing a low-cut, red dress with sparkling glitter all over it and a snake draped across her shoulders. The snake slipped in and out of the dress’ cleavage, slithering its tongue against tanned skin. “What’ll it be tonight, sweetheart?”
“Something cool to relax my friend here,” Bobby said as Hank eyed the reptile.
“Robert, I am not entirely certain that thing is in this country legally.”
“He’s talking about the snake, Doris. Don’t let him work you up. He just can’t get his furry underwear unknotted.”
“I told you, Hank, it’s cool. We’re all friends here.”
“Just what have you been doing while I’ve been away?” Hank demanded, eyeing his boyfriend who had once also been his best friend. He wasn’t at all certain he still knew him by this point.
“When I wasn’t busy saving the world? Making friends. Trying to live my life.” He picked up the drink Doris had poured and offered it to Hank. “Go ahead. Give it a try, Fuzzy. Just one night -- “
Sirens blared suddenly. Screams went up. People started to run. “Shit!” Doris hissed, grabbing a gun from underneath the bar. The snake wrapped more tightly around his shoulders as they ran toward the back exit.
Hank sighed wearily and sat the drink he’d just accepted heavily back down onto the counter. “This,” he told Bobby, “was exactly what I was afraid of.”
“Just chill. I’ve got this.” Hey, Jean, we need a pick up.
Bobby, where -- I told you not to go there again!
Lecture later, Momma. Get us out of here now -- please?
“Robert,” Hank hissed, drilling his claws against the bar’s wood surface.
“PUT YOUR HANDS OVER YOUR HEAD, AND NOBODY MOVE!”
“Cops never do make any sense,” Bobby muttered just as the air filled with a putrid stench.
“Elf -- “
“Guten tag, mein fruends.” Kurt’s tail swished. “You need a hasty retreat, yes?”
“Only because this Popsicle For A Brain wouldn’t listen to me,” Hank muttered angrily, jerking his thumb at Bobby.
Behind them, screams erupted again. “MONSTERS!”
“LIKE I SAID, MONSTERS! BLAST ‘EM!”
Gunfire erupted. More screams sounded. Kurt grabbed his friends and teleported away to safety. When they reappeared in a dark alley several blocks away from the club, Hank was already shaking his head in disappointment. “Nightcrawler, thank you. Bobby, Robert,” he continued shaking his head as he gazed down at his boyfriend, “how could you have thought that place a good idea?”
“Because they’re like us, Hank. They wouldn’t have freaked out on us even if your image inducer had popped out. They’re our kind of people.”
“No, they are not. Are you that desperate for acceptance that you would involve yourself in illegal possession of not just animals but drugs as well? And I do not want to even consider exactly what kind of relationship that Doris person had with his -- her -- its snake.”
Bobby shook his head. “You know,” he said, “I thought tonight was gonna be fun. I thought you’d be cute. Out of your element and everything, yeah, but I never get to have the upper hand between us.”
“This isn’t a competition, Robert -- “
“Isn’t it? You’re always dragging me off to these boring ass lectures and supporting all these other causes you get involved in, but the one time I take you somewhere where you feel a little uncomfortable -- “
“The police brought down the place with us in it, Robert! That is hardly the kind of exposure we need!”
“We need exposure to our people, Hank, all of our people, and to fun, and to -- “ Bobby sighed and shook his head. “You just don’t get it, do you? You never did. You never will! Life is supposed to be about more than just surviving it!”
“It’s supposed to be about more than fun and games too!”
“It is! I risk my life every day for people who hate me, people who, just like those cops back there,” he said, throwing a hand in the general direction of the club, “want us dead because we’re different! I save the world! I save lives! I make a difference all the time! But the one time I want to do something fun and a little different -- “ His voice dropped. He sighed again, and his whole countenance seemed to sag. “Just forget it,” he muttered, shaking his head and thrusting his balled fists deep into his pockets. “You’ll never get it. You’ll never understand any way.” Shaking his head, Bobby turned and walked away.
Kurt hesitated a moment in the alley with Hank. “Vell?” he finally asked, the bladed tip of his blue tail twitching.
“Well what?” Hank muttered in return, frowning deeply.
“I know I have not been one of you X-Men for a long time,” Kurt replied, “but it seems to me zat a friend vould not allow some misunderstanding like zat to stand between zem.”
“You’re saying I should go after him?”
Kurt shrugged. “Well, ja. Zat’s vhat friends do, isn’t it? Especially friends vho are . . . more zan friends?”
Hank stared down at him in surprise. “You knew?” he asked.
A grin broke out over Kurt’s fuzzy face. “Ve all know, Hank, and ve all accept you just ze vay you are. Bobby’s looking for people like you, and perhaps he is looking in ze vrong places. Ve are like you and not like you, true, but zat is part of vhat makes zis vorld so beautiful. No matter vhat zose other people zink, zose vho are blinded vith their prejudice, ve are not all meant to be ze same.”
His tail swished behind him. “Some of us have tails. Some of us do not. Some of us have pointy ears. Some have fur. Some have claws. Zat is ze vay ze good Lord made us. Some of us love men. Some of us love vomen. And some love both or either or even none. Zat is ze vay ze Lord made us too. Ve do not choose vho ve love, but we can choose vho ve get to be vith.”
Hank’s eyes softened as, with the rain he had not even noticed had been pouring down on them since they’d left the club, his image inducer fizzled out. He turned and looked down the alley from whence Bobby was just about to step. “Robert! Wait!” He flashed Kurt a wide grin. “Thank you,” he murmured quickly. “You are a good friend.”
He bounded down the alley and, in two, agile leaps, had reached Bobby’s side. “Robert, I -- “ He stood and pulled his fedora off of his head. Scrunching it in one massive paw, Hank looked down at his younger lover, suddenly at a loss for words. “I -- I owe you an apology.”
“Gee, ya think?” Bobby returned dryly, kicking at a pebble. Then he looked up into Hank’s big, yellow eyes. “Damn it, Blue,” he growled, shaking his head.
A grin flashed over Bobby’s face. He found it just as impossible now as he always had to stay angry at his big, and now blue, hunk. “You’ve got the best puppy dog eyes, you know that?”
“Are they working?”
“Yes!” He playfully struck Hank’s muscular shoulder, but before he could withdraw his hand, Hank quickly closed his larger hand around it. His claws lightly grazed Bobby’s cold skin.
“Good,” he said, “because of all the errors I’ve made in my life, the one I most do not want to make and fear would be the biggest mistake of my life -- “
“Even more than turning yourself blue?” Bobby interjected, grinning. “Which is totally working for you, I think personally.”
“Yes! Come now, Robert! I’m trying to make a serious dedication here!”
Thunder droned in the near distance as the rain kept pelting down on their heads. “Don’t you see I don’t want to be serious?”
“But I do,” Hank insisted, still holding to Bobby’s hand. “At least for one second. Give me that at least?” he pleaded.
Bobby sighed. “I never have been able to say no to you, you big lug.”
“Good. Then hear what I have to say now. Of all the errors I could ever make, Robert, letting you walk away from me would be the worst thing I could ever do.”
“Then don’t,” Bobby said simply, shrugging one shoulder.
Hank grinned. “Is it really that easy?”
“I was just trying to introduce you to more of our people, Blue. Just trying to help you relax.”
“I can relax,” Hank told him, “with you when we get home.”
“Oh, yes. Positively.” Hank drew him up against him, lifting him easily off of his feet, and kissed him. Hank’s hugely muscular form wrapped around him kept the rain off of Bobby, but as he started to melt into their kiss, they felt three-fingered hands reach out and touch their shoulders.
The stench of brimstone again assailed their senses, and when they looked up, they were no longer in the dark alley but back at the school. “Thank you for going after them,” Jean acknowledged, nodding to Kurt. Her hands were wrapped around a mug of warm, hot chocolate, and three more sat on a tray on the counter behind her.
“You need to stop mothering us so badly,” Bobby remarked, reaching for a mug. He took a sip. “Got any cookies?”
Jean laughed and rolled her eyes.
“I may have some,” Kurt murmured, but it was at that time that their Professor spoke loudly into each of their minds.
Beast and Iceman, I will see you in my office immediately.
Kurt’s tail swished. “Good luck, mein fruends.” He teleported from the room, leaving them to wave away his stench.
Jean coughed, her eyes watering. “I really wish he wouldn’t keep doing that all the time.” She looked at her friends. “Good luck, both of you,” she added, kissing each of their cheeks in turn. As she pulled away from Hank, she teased, “Bobby’s right, you know. The fur is totally working for you.”
The blue fur around Henry’s face darkened, the only sign of his blush. Bobby tugged on his hand. “He’s mine!”
“Of course he’s yours,” Jean agreed, laughing. “But a girl can still oogle!”
Bobby flashed her a grin before a reminder blasted through their minds that the Professor was waiting for them. They walked into his study, side by side, to find the Professor waiting in front of a radio whose newscaster was even then talking about the club for freaks. Cyclops offered nearby.
“Scott, you may leave us now.”
“Professor -- “
“Leave us now.”
“Yes, sir.” His head hung and his hands cupped together behind his back, Cyclops walked out of the study.
Hank waited until he heard the door shut behind him. “Professor, I can explain -- “
“It’s my fault,” Bobby started simultaneously.
Charles waved a hand in the air, dismissing them both. “I actually am the one who should apologize.”
“I’m sorry, sir?” Hank asked, his jaw feeling slack.
Bobby just stared.
“I knew something was different about you two. I should have realized you would need to be around more people with . . . similar . . . I suppose lifestyles would be the correct word. However, such a club as The Naughty Boys’ Room is not exactly an establishment I would like my students to attend.”
“It’s the most happening club -- “ Bobby started.
“For a number of reasons, Robert,” Charles agreed, “most of all, it would appear, because they have a complete lack of rules.”
Bobby almost groaned aloud.
“What I would like to do, however, is to invite you to attend some soirees with me in the coming months.”
“What kind of soirees?” Hank inquired, and this time, Bobby did groan.
“We were looking for fun, Professor, and inclusion, not some boring lectures.”
Charles’ blue eyes twinkled. “You will not hear lectures at this places, I promise you, and they are far more exclusive in their selection of people like us.”
“People like us?” Hank pondered aloud.
“Prof, you don’t get it,” Bobby told him. “We weren’t looking to hang with mutants. We can do that here.”
“I am speaking of the homosexual aspect of our natures, Robert.”
Bobby’s mouth dropped open.
“You see,” Charles continued calmly, steepling his fingers together in front of him, “you are not the only two here who love members of the same gender.”
“You -- “ Bobby gawked.
“Yes. If we are going to do this,” Charles told them, “this information does not leave this room.” Hank and Bobby both bobbed their heads in quick, enthusiastic agreement. “I have loved several men in my time,” Charles told them, “but no more so than Erik.”
Both their jaws dropped open at that revelation.
“We are not together at this time, of course, being that he can not be made to see reason. However, in our time together, we became regulars at certain, exclusive resorts. It will be my pleasure to introduce you boys to those places as we can manage to work in our visits amongst your duties.”
Bobby was the first to recover from his shock. “Yes, sir. That would be cool, sir!” He burst into a grin.
“And it would have the added benefit of my being able to make certain that you are not being exposed to certain elements with which you really do not need any further encounters.”
“Yes, sir! Hum, is it black tie?”
“Not all of them, but I will see to it that you have everything you need to take full advantage of everything these resorts offer.”
Bobby glanced at Hank. “Can I ask you something, sir?” he asked, looking back at the Professor.
“Of course. Anything, Robert.”
“We’ll keep your secret, but we want you to keep ours too.”
Charles smiled fondly at two of his favorite students. “I would be happy to agree,” he told them, “except that I fear your secrets are already not your own.”
“Dang! I tried -- “ Bobby started to say, looking to Hank.
“It’s all right, Robert. To paraphrase a philosopher I have always liked, those who love us accept us the way we are, and those who do not do not matter.”
“You know that’s true,” Bobby told him, “rather it’s because we’re gay or because you’re blue and furry. You’re really rocking your new look. If they don’t like it, that’s on them.”
“Yes.” Hank drew out the word as he pondered the night’s events and revelations. “Yes, I suppose it really is.”
“We are all made different, my students, and for a reason. The world would be a sorrowful place if we were all the same.”
“May we be dismissed now?”
“Of course, Robert.” Charles watched the younger mutant start to walk out of his study but then flicked his imploring gaze back to Hank, who hesitated.
“Sir, speaking of reason -- “
“Maybe Magneto can be made to see reason one day.”
“I hope so,” Charles spoke sincerely. “I truly, truly hope so.” He turned back to his fireplace, dismissing them both.
As soon as they were outside the Professor’s study, Bobby reached out and grabbed Hank’s furry hand. “What?” Hank started in surprise.
“You promised me time to chill,” Bobby reminded him, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.
Hank laughed. “I did indeed,” he said, his rumbling words coming out sounding close to a purr. “I did indeed.” He lifted his boyfriend into his arms and kissed him as they headed to their room together.