Kat Lee (katleept) wrote,
Kat Lee

Still Feel Small

Title: Still Feel Small
Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Supernatural
Character/Pairing: Sam, Dean
Rating: PG/K+
Challenge/Prompt: comment_fic: Supernatural, weechesters, seeing the beach for the first time requested by cozy_coffee
Warning(s): None
Word Count: 610
Date Written: 17 April 2018
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Kripke, not the author, and are used without permission.

The waves sounded so big that first time, Sam remembers as he and Dean pop open Baby’s doors and climb out onto the seashore. The sand gives underneath their boots as the warm sun shines down upon them. Dean moves to Baby’s trunk as Sam makes his way to the front of the car. He leans against her, feeling the warmth of the sun on his face and its effects on Baby’s hood underneath his tired and scratched hands.

His brother makes his way back to him and opens two long necked bottles of beer. He hands one to Sam, and they just sit there, enjoying the view for a while and the fact that they’re still both alive. Sam doesn’t know how long they stay like that, but he could stay there in that moment forever. It will always be one of his favorite moments of their long and haggard lives.

Finally, it’s Dean who breaks the silence as he looks to Sammy with a smirk twitching his lips. “Still feel small?” he asks.

Sam looks at the water. The waves still make a lot of noise as they crash against the beach, but they’re not nearly as frightening as they were that first time when he was so young and he had begged and begged to go see the beach in person after watching a movie for Dean and seeing one in the film for the first time. It had looked so cool, and it had proved to be a lot cooler in person.

His father had never taken him, Sam remembers; Dean and Bobby had one time when John had left them with Bobby. A tightness swells and aches in his chest. He misses his dad, but he misses Bobby even more. He’d been there for them whenever their father hadn’t. He had always done what he could to make sure they didn’t miss everything when they’d been growing up. It had been Bobby who had told them that it was okay to feel small against the ocean. You were supposed to, he’d said, and as long as your ego wasn’t inflated to the point where you didn’t fail to feel small against one of God’s most majestic creations, you weren’t completely messing or messed up.

Tears shine in Sammy’s eyes. He takes another couple of gulps of beer before muttering an answer to Dean, “Yeah.” He does still feel small against the ocean. The waves might no longer seem menacing, but they are still majestic, powerful, and awe-inspiring. They’ve saved the world too many times to count. They’ve died and come back again even when they hadn’t wanted to. They’ve continued the fight many, many times when they didn’t want to, and they’ve fought every creature anybody could name. They’ve fought God, the Devil, and everything in between, and many of those creatures had had a roar that sounded ten times larger than the ocean’s. But he still feels small against the brash, blue vastness.

“Good,” Dean answers, not daring to look at his beloved, little brother. He knows Sammy’s close to tears, and he can’t blame him. He bats down his own tears as he reaches behind him and places his free hand on top of Sammy’s. “Guess we’re still doing good.” His voice is strangled as he fights down his own tears. Quickly, he pours more alcohol down his throat before he can sob aloud. They’re still doing good. They’re still doing right by and for Bobby, and their father. He raises his bottle in a silent toast. Sam lifts his, too; then they drink together as the sun slowly sinks beyond the horizon.

The End
Tags: supernatural: dean, supernatural: sam
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