Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Sherlock Holmes
Character/Pairing: Holmes, Watson, Mrs. Hudson
Challenge/Prompt: holmes_minor March 2018: The March of Time
Word Count: 563
Date Written: 20 March 2018
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Arthur Conan Doyle, not the author, and are used without permission.
“This will not do, Mister Holmes. It simply will not do at all, and I can not be expected to overlook this awful slight!”
“Oh, dear,” John muttered, coming into the apartment. “What has he done now, Missus Hudson?”
Sherlock finally stopped laughing to request, “John, will you kindly explain to -- “
“Sherlock, do hush up. You’re clearly quite enough trouble as it is.” The world-famous detective started guffawing again. The good doctor’s eyes cut him down to size, but it was clear Holmes was grinning even from behind the hands he now cupped around his mouth. “And, honestly, your laughter is not helping!”
“But, John -- “
“Hear me, Holmes. You have obviously upset Missus Hudson a great deal -- “
“He most certainly has!” The poor landlady had tears in her eyes, which brought both John’s anger over the insult she had been given and his desire to protect the kind woman from all the world’s harshities very much to the front of his mind.
Another chuckle escaped Holmes’ restraint.
“Hear me, Holmes, if you laugh once more -- “ But Sherlock did just that. Watson’s mustache twitched. He removed his umbrella from its hooked place on his arm and pointed it straight at his best friend. “Out, Holmes! Out until this matter can be resolved and Missus Hudson cheered and persuaded to forgive you yet again!” He tapped Holmes’ leg with the umbrella. “Out!” he insisted.
To his surprise, Holmes stood, donned his cap, and walked out of the apartment with little complaint, but not without another chuckle just as the door shut behind him. “My dear woman, I must apologize,” Watson said, turning to their distraught landlady. “We are both well aware that whereas Sherlock has the sharpest mind in the world, there are still certain areas where his intellect -- and especially his mannerisms -- are dearly lacking. What insult did he pain you with this time?”
“He bought that horrid contraption for me!” Missus Hudson cried, flinging out a hand at a large device that set in the middle of their floor. “I do declare, Doctor Watson! As much as I care for you boys and he insults me by -- by -- by -- “ She gestured wildly with her hand.
Doctor Watson looked over the brim of his spectacles at the device in question. “Why, Missus Hudson, it’s only a vacuum cleaner!”
“Precisely! He thinks I am no longer fit to care for you! As much as I do! I clean this place from top to bottom every day! It’s hardly my fault that he ransacks it again every night!”
Slowly, John slid his glasses back up onto the bridge of his nose. His mustache twitched, but he very carefully kept his lips sealed. Slowly, he turned to face their distraught landlady.
“And he thinks a machine can do better than I!”
“For once, Missus Hudson, I can assure you that our dear Mister Holmes had your best care in mind. You see, the machine is not meant to replace you. It is simply meant to assist you and make your chores easier. We both realize we are hardly the easiest tenants to clean up after. Here, allow me to show you how it works.” While demonstrating the vacuum cleaner’s true purpose, Watson raked his mind. For once, he was going to have to be the one to apologize to Holmes, and he did look forward to it!