Kat Lee (katleept) wrote,
Kat Lee
katleept

January



It's been a rough two days, and I'm praying 2018 will be better all the way around. It seems like every time I put myself out there, I end up getting stabbed. The girl who claimed me to be her best friend, who I held many times as she cried because of her ex, who I kept my mouth shut about when she took him back and married him for the THIRD time until she claimed she'd never take him back a FOURTH, who I was there for as she lost her father and a serious boyfriend and her kids turned against her to be with their abusive father, who was there for me in turn when we lost Daddy and when Drew and I have been at odds at times in the past . . . She betrayed us all yesterday.

This is a girl we have all helped. She's one who talks endlessly about love and about God and even helped me to get back on the right path. She's one who kept saying she'd always be there, that when something happens to Drew, all I have to do is call her and she'd be there for me, for her "sister". She helped Mrs. O through similar things and claimed to be there for her. She's the one with the daughter who's mentally handicapped and yet somehow managed to carry a baby full term as we found out after Jo claimed to only know about the kid's pregnancy Tuesday. The baby was born healthy. Facebook was lit up with pics, including a picture of Jo and her ex which immediately had everybody talking and concerned.

I was concerned enough I actually texted her, and I do NOT text. I only even carry a phone for emergencies and only started carrying one on my person all the time when the truckers recently got to the point they have. I wanted to be able to keep us all as safe as possible. But I texted her Saturday, and she claimed up and down she wasn't taking him back and that things were still the same, that she loved us, yadda, yadda, yadda.

Yesterday, at an hour until the time she was supposed to come in, on the day of inventory (and she's deli manager, keep in mind, a position I tried my best to tell her she wouldn't want in then long run), she TEXTED Mrs. O and quit. AND said she was going back with Michael and they were going to raise their grandbaby together. I'll never understand how some women, too many women, continue to let men beat on them and use them. This is a man she divorced THREE TIMES. This is a man who has almost choked her to death, a man who has beaten her time and again, a man who has ran off on her with the SAME WOMAN time and again. We all swore we'd beat her butt if she took him back yet again, and maybe that was a mistake. But you don't lie to the people you care about. You don't leave your "family" in a lurch, and you damn sure don't quit without at least bothering with an actual PHONE CALL. She took the coward's way out. I never would have thought it of her in a million years.

We were pissed. We were hurt. Tears were shared. I seriously thought about deleting my Facebook account and my stories mailing list and just staying with my OL friends only. I thought I'd been a stupid, f---ing bitch again. I learned, however, that I wasn't the only one having these thoughts. Mikey and O were both having them as well. Mike and I are also of the opinion that Jo's ex played a role in her daughter's pregnancy; we just pray that it's not what we're afraid it was.

I still don't want anything bad to happen to Jo, or her kids, or even her granddaughter. A part of me still cares about her, and I wish her the best. But do I understand how she could do this to us or herself? Heck no!

But pulling away also is not the right answer. The Devil was in our midst the whole time. He's now been revealed and can be dealt with accordingly. But this also leaves the store with four vacancies, including the deli manager, a position nobody in our team, as far as we currently know, wants. It still leaves us hurting and with holes in our hearts.

But on the up side, after O and I had had a nice, long heart to heart and updated each other on the crap we've each been dealing with, as we were parting, I told her, "Oh, yeah, and one of our babies has been missing for THREE DAYS." I'd given up on Henri. I really had. But I called him out of desperation anyway when I got home, and he ACTUALLY CAME OUT FROM UNDERNEATH THE TRAILER!!!! We have been looking everywhere for him and even had the mechanic who works on Drew's truck looking when he came to work on the truck. None of us could find him. BUT HE IS BACK, A LITTLE SICKLY BUT OTHERWISE HEALTHY, AND IS GOING TO BE FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really feel like his return is God's way of saying everything is going to be okay, I made the right decisions, the right choices, and I AM on the right path!

The dog we've been trying to tame, though, is going to have to go. He lunged for him when he came to me. That's it. No more chances, but we've got to wait until the weather warms up some. It's currently in the low '20s, and tonight's predicted low is 18 with a "Real Feel" of ONE!!!

And all this, y'all, happened after the day I had the twelve hour shift, so I hope y'all can understand why I didn't get my last two posts for December done. I DID, however, beat the mess out of my yearly goal for 2017. I seriously trounced it at 576,931 words!!!!!! I missed my monthly goal for December, however, by 1.5k unless you count either the artwork I did or the 8k+ of journal words. But I'm so not looking at that when I have such a lovely year-end figure!!!

Here's to 2018, to you all, and to the best everything for you all in the new year!!!!!






It's still way too cold here, dropping down to 20 tonight, but it's a good night, despite my Drew being sick. Laid back, relaxed, and watching Supergirl after a brief writing time and Chinese. I've also been lucky enough to be holding one of our wildest babies, one of only three who refuses a sweater, for the last couple of hours, which is an unexpected but touching blessing in and of itself -- even if I'm sure he did just come to me because he got cold. ;) Hope y'all are staying warm, happy, and safe wherever you! *HUGS*






It's official: My baby is definitely sick! She tends to catch pneumonia/bronchitis at least once a year,no matter what we do. And this cold certainly isn't helping! We've got probably about ten or so of the kids fighting head colds, too. Even little Ollie is feeling so sickly that it's taking both him and Patrick eating a couple of times to finish one can.

The thing I hate the most about the cold is that it interferes with my bathing time. I like to get my bath first thing instead of last, and my best writing time is usually right after my shower. I still managed about 3k today, though, and decided to use something I was writing for a challenge prompt as my final 12 Days of Christmas entry for 2017 instead. It's a fun challenge, and I hope to get to make something else for it before I run out of time -- But I have finished my 12 Days!!! BOOYAH!!!!

Another BOOYAH! moment: I finally made my last dream NeoPet today! That's right: My batch is complete, now with a Halloween Kougra! Set me back 2.6 mill in the points, but he's worth it! My main account, including the new baby, is here if anybody's interested, and here's my side account: SparkleStardust13. The Halloween Kougra and Maraquan Shoyru were my final two dream Pets.

Hope you're all staying nice and warm, cuddled up with your loved ones, and not feeling too much of this cold or too sickly. I've managed not to gripe and complain too much about the cold aloud, but I'm definitely looking forward to Spring already!! Maybe we'll actually have one this year . . .






Things are beginning to fall back into place at work. There's a young guy who's been working with us for maybe about a year now and has proven himself very helpful. He's often one of the first to volunteer for overtime and works both cashier and deli sides. The other day, when I worked with him on that 12-hour shift, I would have gotten NOTHING done after Mel left if not for him. He was constantly running my register so that I could get things done out on the floor without ever a complaint. He's a huge help, and he is now officially training for deli manager! We also have a new girl who started in the deli yesterday, someone returning who worked with us before (and we were all upset when she decided to leave and go to Florida for the hurricane recovery efforts that were paying so well) returning to be a cook on Monday, and had a very fine young gentleman (mannerisms, not looks) interview today. He is the son of a pastor and the lead guitarist in his church's choir, or whatever you'd call it -- not sure if choir is the proper term for all the singings --, and I think he'd make a fine addition. O agrees, so hopefully he'll be able to join us soon and be the guy we've been looking for for a while now to help on graveyard. It's a sad but true fact that most people who are looking to cause a problem in any form of retail are less likely to do so if they see a man on duty. We women, unfortunately, tend to be thought of as easy targets, no matter how much it isn't true. I've seen jerks before change their minds quickly when we had a guy come up beside us, and it rarely even matters if the guy's actually working with us or is a regular customer.

The cold, on the other hand, does not seem to be going away. The sickness is kicking my poor Drew's butt, and I'm praying I'm not coming down with it despite having a touch of a sore throat today and letting go of some major sneezes last night and today. It's getting down to SIXTEEN tonight! *shudder* The kids are frustrated, and it isn't helped that, when the temps are so low, we make as many of them as possible come into the bedroom/bathroom area (about a fourth of the trailer) so that we can shut the doors to the rest of the house and try and keep everybody warm back here.

They are sick and tired of not being able to go out, missing their toothpaste, and beyond tired of their sweaters. It's so easy for one of them to stick a claw in someone else's sweater and disrobe them -- I stopped one just a few minutes ago. It's also ridiculously easy to miss their mouths when they're squirming and get the toothpaste on their sweaters instead, which is why I'm not about to brush their teeth right now, especially considering that we've got two, most primarily Honey, who seem determined to EAT their sweaters, believe it or not!! We are all SO BEYOND READY for some warmer weather!!

Talked to another guy, a customer who's also a Preacher and who I have a rather good opinion of for the most part, who knows the doctor Drew's going to see on Tuesday. (Tuesday morning at 10am, if y'all would like to be thinking of us at that time -- it'd be very much appreciated!) He says he IS like his father and is a fine doctor, so here's to more hoping and praying that we finally will get the right doctor for her feet! He's expensive, but -- and I think I've mentioned this before, forgive me if I haven't -- will be so well worth it if he's ANYTHING like his father!!

There is no doubt in my mind that my Daddy would still be living if Fred West had been alive when he started going down. He'd already saved his life once, back when I was a kid. Dad probably didn't weigh 80 pounds when he was soaking wet, but when I was little, he blimped up to where he was probably 4-500 pounds! At the time, he had good insurance and kept going around practically all of 'Bama and North Florida. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with him. Then he heard about a doctor who was supposed to be fantastic who was working in a small clinic where they charged you according to your income. Out of desperation more than anything else, he went to him. The doctor happened to come out to talk to one of his nurses while Dad was waiting, took one look at him in the waiting room, and bellowed for his head nurse. With one look, he knew not only that my Daddy was about to have a heart attack -- but he ALSO knew what was wrong with him! With one look!!!

He also saved my arm and Mom's and Drew's legs. So if this guy is half as good as his father, my baby's feet should be saved!!

Hope y'all are managing to stay warm! Hugs and love to one and all!!

Oh, and as I'm finishing today's entry, I'm remembering something I meant to tell y'all about the kids' sweaters. Some of them are constantly trying to find ways out of them. Victor Creed thought he had a brilliant move to get rid of his. We constantly buy the kids -- I'm not sure what the proper name is -- toddler playmats with dangling toys hanging down over them -- whenever we can find them thrifting. They never last, but the babies love them while they do. He managed to flip the one we have now, take his sweater off, and bury it underneath the playmat -- the playmat and his sweater being the EXACT same color! I almost didn't find it, but I did and he's got it back on now, much to his chagrin!

Ugh . . . SIXTEEN! I'm cold just thinking about it!!





It's official: I've got the crud now.





I did NOT want to be at work today, or for that matter, even crawl out of the bed. But in the end, I'm glad I went in and toughed it out. It wasn't exactly a busy day, but it was a TRYING day. Poor Mel. She's a very Christian lady and draws jerks like flies to sugar. She never shows any interest in their filth, because she's NOT interested and is happily married. She was shocked one day when she had a male customer whose pants were unzipped -- and who continued (mind you, I was checking in a vendor and everybody else was elsewhere doing other things too, leaving her alone at the front) to declare that she was wanting a free look at his so-called wares! The poor dear could have died from embarrassment!! Well, that THING came in again this morning, and it took a good half hour of Mikey and I staring him down and keeping ourselves in between him and Mel before the jerk finally realized we weren't about to let him have another shot at her and FINALLY left.

Then our two elderly deli workers both managed to cut themselves, and the oldest one was having some kind of heart problems, I'm afraid. She kept having dizzy spells and clutching at her heart and finally, FINALLY allowed us to talk her into going home. I'm glad I was able to be there for my girls. Drew was joking the other day when she said I would've made a good madam, but she's right. I take my girls' protection very seriously, just as I will y'all's if we ever get lucky enough to meet in person. I protect what's mine!!

Blessings, love, and hugs to you all! I hope those of you who haven't been sick don't get this crud or any other, and I hope all those of you who are enduring sickness of any kind right now get well soon! Love you all!





It is FINALLY warming up -- still cold, and to rain of course, but STILL it IS warming up!!! A low of 43 is WONDERFUL when it's been being in the '20s or teens every night! The babies are finally out of their sweaters and even got to go out today! There are actually still two out, Diaval and Cabbit, but that's to be expected with those wild boys after being cooped up all week, poor dears! I'm surprised Abraham came in and that so many of them came in early without complaint!

Didymus is on the chain as usual while they're out. We were going to take him to the Pound once it warmed up, but the other day Bowie got out on me. I ran him down, and Didymus went after him, but I noticed something very important when he got near to him: He did NOT try to attack him. He looked like he was going to, but it was just play! He's wanting to play with the kids, which, of course, he can't, being too big and too likely to hurt them by accident, but we ARE making progress. And we do need the protection, unfortunately. Even things out here aren't the way they should be any more. With him out there, we never have to worry about intruders, thieves, or anyone causing us mess. I KNOW he would take them down in a heartbeat!

In fact, on the way to get him fixed, just kidding, as he was barking at all the other vehicles, I told him to "sic" a transfer truck, and he looked for all the world like he was going to crash straight through the window to get me that truck! Needless to say, I will NOT make that mistake again!

I do hope to one day be able to let the kids and him all play at one time, but for the time being, I'm really not comfortable letting him off the chain yet. I will NOT risk any of my babies!

Although they do have to have their sweaters when it's too cold, and I'm beginning to wonder/fret over how risky that might be. Diaval is bully. It's something we're continuously working on. Yesterday, he attacked my Pattycake (Patrick), and somehow or another, one of Patrick's bottom fangs got hooked into the top of his sweater. I almost had to cut the sweater to get it off of him, but Drew FINALLY managed to unhook him when I had the scissors not even an inch away from the cloth! Now we finally know what happened to poor Nicky's tooth and why he hates sweaters as much as he does, but I still don't know how in the heck it happened!!

And in other news, there was an interesting, unexpected twist at work today. For years, we have had regular church goers -- GOOD people who come to lunch with us every Sunday, but about two months ago, they stopped coming. Jo's been gone a week. This is the first Sunday since she quit, -- and we saw every one of our church regulars!! It has Faye and me both feeling like there was something more we STILL don't know and wishing we did -- but maybe it's better we don't. Regardless, I'm beginning to totally not miss the girl -- I already wasn't missing her nearly as much as I'd thought I would --, and we're definitely doing fine without her!

Today is Tiger's birthday, Tiger being Drew's oldest baby, and tomorrow is Drew's. Love and hugs to you all!

Oh, and Henri's eating great! It's finally warm enough that we felt comfortable taking him to the library away from all the others to give him a can, and he ate nearly a whole one by himself!





Today is my baby's birthday, but she doesn't want to celebrate until tomorrow, which is fine by me as I don't feel like doing a bloody thing. I survived work, though, with this mess when she missed three days but turned in vacation time to make up for the money shortage. I'm just SO hoping for some words tomorrow since I'm still behind, and speaking of tomorrow -- 10 o'clock central in the morning is my baby's appointment. If you happen to think about us, please pray for her. <3 Love and hugs to you all as always!

Oh, and did I mention that the cold has changed into steady rain all freaking day? Ugh!

Oh, and on the up side, Henri actually made it all the way from the bedroom to the living room (which is more than half of the trailer) to look for a can! That's one thing I WILL get done: feeding him and giving him his iron meds!





Doctor's appointment was today. Didn't exactly go as planned, but it wasn't too bad either. He's referring us to a wound specialist, but I don't see how we can afford their care. We're not ruling it out, but it DOES give us something to use against the VA. They keep forcing us to podiatrists, but what she needs is a wound specialist. So maybe we can at least use that information to get to a better VA doctor, if nothing more. More details tomorrow. Brain's kinda crashing now. Love y'all! And thanks, as always, for all the prayers and well wishes. *HUGS*



January 10

January 11

January 12



I only missed three days, not as bad as I'd thought just like my word count this month, thanks in large part to the remainder of my 12 Days of Christmas series written last month, isn't as bad as I thought it was. Thanks to kaige68 for keeping a running track for me on that as I can never manage to count my words until the end of the month and am sometimes even behind then. It seems like I stay behind actually lately. I even felt this morning like then whole freaking universe was conspiring against me which, in clear mind, I can admit is a load of bull. It just seems like the more I want to write lately, the less I actually get to write, which is why I'm back up at 10 o'clock at night (when I have to be at work at 5 in the morning) and trying to get some writing done. I couldn't have gotten my bath when I came in today, though, if I'd had to. Drew, bless her heart, didn't even try to take one, which is something I can never do any more after having suffered for three weeks without a shower back during Hurricane Ivan.

January 10 was not a good day for me, or for us. The doctor's appointment, as I mentioned earlier, did not go as planned, or well even. First and foremost, despite what everybody thinks, he is NOT the son of the doctor we were led to believe he was. That son is actually a dentist in a big city a ways from here. He did know Fred West, but he is not his son. And he didn't even touch the foot. He said what she needs is a good wound specialist, and he can recommend several. He's making her an appointment with one in Montgomery that he likes (and he did know and like Fred West and the doctor who saved her back back when we were in the wreck when I was in the fourth grade), but I'm sure we're talking major $$$. Now you can't put a price on health, and especially not on actually saving feet, but the simple fact is we'd have to have a way to pay the fancy specialists. We're not ruling it out, but we'll see what happens when we can talk to them and find out just exactly how many $$$ we have to come up with. We're almost 100% sure we can't get the VA to pay for it -- like 99.99998%. However, this may help us to get away from the doctors we know aren't good for her. They keep sending her to a podiatrist, but what she needs is wound care. I don't know why I never saw that! Too close to the situation, I guess?

But this past Wednesday, she was depressed, which added fuel to my own depression. The thing is, if she ends up having to be operated on, I know it's extremely dangerous for her to stay in the hospital by herself, as I've mentioned before, BUT it's just her, me, and the kids. There's no way we can leave them by themselves, take them with us, or leave them at the vet. We also have no one close enough we could get (I know many of y'all would volunteer in a heartbeat and I appreciate that -- I truly, truly do) to come in and do their feed, water, and pans. And I don't even want to think about trying to work the full time job I work and do everything that needs to be done here by myself, even while she's recuperating.

Thursday was my 10 hour shift and my Monday, which doesn't make for a good combo AT ALL, but it should be the last of the overtime for a while. *fingers and toes crossed* I was still tired out Friday, and Friday night she called and woke me at 11:30pm freaking out because of what her customers were telling her about the weather. It did snow in two of the towns 20-30 minutes from here, but nothing stuck, thank God. We ARE looking at a very real possibility for snow on Tuesday night/early Wednesday morning, however, but thank God, those are our usual days off and we only have to go out for her appointment with her regular VA doctor.

Needless to say, the kids are back in their sweaters, we're back to freezing our butts off, and the cold doesn't help with getting ANYTHING done. I'm probably going to regret getting up for my bath before setting the water and spending time up writing, but like I said, I'm tired of not getting words, and there's no way I could have gotten the bath before. I was beyond knackered, especially since I never got back to sleep good after she woke me last night.

I have been reading y'all's posts as I can, even though I don't always get to say something. I can not stress how much I enjoy y'all's creative endeavors and am blessed by your friendships. If any of you were only closer, I know things wouldn't be as bleak as they so often seem these days. I love each and every one of you, pray for you daily, and send the best of good wishes, thoughts, and vibes to you all.

I also wonder what y'all are thinking about this insane weather? I can never remember a year when it's been so bloody cold, and yet I know global warming is definitely a REAL THING. Drew thinks somebody may have made a weather machine, and I certainly wouldn't put that pass the Russians. I also noticed today that the meteorologists seem to watch for storm systems this time of the year the same way they do for hurricanes in the Summer and react the same way, too. It makes me wonder if maybe blizzards and the like are the hurricanes of Winter and if they're somehow connected -- and makes me concerned for just what lays ahead of us in the future. But, on the up side, maybe this means we're getting closer to the end of time and being with all those we love who have already gone home. God knows I'm ready to be back with them. <3 But Drew and our babies need me, and I know a few other special lives who need me, so I am, for now, where I should be.

Again, love and hugs to you all!!

Oh, and we're probably keeping Didymus after all. He's been spooking us because of the way he runs after the cats, but twice now, he's reached kitties before I could get there. And twice now, he has not attacked them, bitten them, growled at them, or make any kind of mean advance on them. Instead he just wants to lick them like crazy! When he comes inside, he'll even belly crawl to them, whining and wanting so desperately to be loved by them! And he is WONDERFUL protection. I admit, a few nights after losing Daddy and being home with just me and the babies, I'd sometimes hear stuff outside and get uncomfortable. Man is dangerous enough, but I know there are other things that go on in these woods. I am woman enough to say, yes, there were times I was scared for it to just be me and the babies, but with Didymus out there, I feel no fear, even when he's barking his head off and I hear a door shut like I did two mornings ago. Even when I see a gas can that used to be down at the house is halfway through the side yard. There's no way that dog will let anybody hurt us as long as he's alive! <3 God knew we needed protection, and He sent Didy.

And as for the fight with Abigail, the very morning after I took him off in the woods (I firmly believe they have more chance in the forest than they do at the so-called "Humane Society"), not only was he back and begging for attention despite limping but Abigail, until she realized he was back, was acting extremely too cheerful for Abby. You could practically hear her saying, "Ha! Ha! I got rid of him!" So he's back, and I finally believe he's here to stay.

Love you all!!!!





It actually made it to 50 today!!! I'm actually going to be able to sleep until midnight, get up only a hour early, and have my shower then, which will hopefully mean more writing time!! My highlight from yesterday was definitely getting up in the middle of the night and getting 850 words -- just slightly over 2k if you count my journal entry here! It felt SO good to finally get some words again and to be able to connect with y'all again and write my OL bestie!

I'm really, REALLY hoping the weather continues to warm up. Drew doesn't hurt as much when it's not so cold, and it just seems to help the tension all the way around. Regardless, one more day, and I am FINALLY OFF again!! Looking forward to that, more words, more time with y'all, and more time with my fam!! And I even managed to brush the kids' teeth this morning (I finally said to heck with risking getting it on the sweaters) in the one hour I had to get ready for work when I got back up!

YEAH!!

Hugs and love to you all as always!!





It's hard to believe that the first month of 2018!!! is already gone, and still hard to believe that it IS 2018. Am I only one to whom that seems like some kind of futuristic year? And 2020 is in only TWO MORE YEARS! I tell ya, if I think about it too much, it boggles my mind! But on the up side, I feel like I may FINALLY (*EVERYTHING crossed*) be getting my crap together and hope to attack everything in the morning with extra vigor. I am, however, making an early "night" of it, mostly because Drew has had very little sleep and won't go to bed without me. Hopefully, in a few more hours, I'll get up, make a real post here, and attack writing with glee!! Love and hugs to you all -- and warm wishes too! SO GLAD AND THANKFUL it warmed up today -- even if it is dipping back in the teens tomorrow night, but at least they're no longer saying snow!





I had actually felt more energy yesterday than I have in MONTHS after the kids pulled me down for a quick catnap. I'm not sure what Sabrina did, but she was sleeping in my arms and I'm convinced she did something to help me yesterday morning. I don't often get knocked out by the kids, but I most certainly did at that time. I was being vibed so hard by all the sleeping, furry bodies around me that tears were literally streaming down both cheeks! I only got about twenty minutes, but I was holding her while sleeping, and like I said, when I woke back up, I had more energy than I've had in months! I really thought it was going to help me get up and get going this morning --

But then I also wasn't counting on being awakened so many times last night. Drew always kisses me before she leaves for work, and I went to the bathroom while she was still headed to the truck and discovered that she'd forgotten her phone. I ran out there, in only socks on my feet, and got the phone to her, but then the kids had a ball game in the hallway and bathroom and just would NOT stop. I ended up getting up, smacking the heck out of the heater that was also making a ruckus, and getting the balls from them.

I FINALLY managed to get up at 3:30 or round about this morning but still didn't make it to writing until two hours later. I really felt like I was pulling teeth, but then I had a major breakthrough, helped along one again by nekid_spike. I admit to sometimes thinking about leaving that one, but every time I do, Spike finds a way to help me out of a block again. I am now the proud owner of SEVEN THOUSAND WORDS!!!!!!!! fresh as of this morning!!!!!!!!! This is the first time I've had such an excellent writing day, again, in MONTHS!!!!

But despite all this wonderfulness, there is still snow reported to be coming this evening. We are NOT looking forward to it and pray to be back home from the VA appointments and other necessary errands by that time. We also plan on going ahead and shirting the babies just to be on safe side as we can't risk leaving the heaters on with the poor dears. I just pray that the ramp won't be nearly as dangerous now that we have some old ceiling tiles set up on it as we were recommended to do and that it's all melted and gone by the time I have to go back to work.

And Drew's waking up slowly from her nap now after getting home from her graveyard shift and starting to talk, so I'm gonna cut this short rather than fuss at her for distracting me. ;) But just one more quick thing: This will show y'all just how clever our babies can be!! I had two cans left over from feeding the ones who need the extra yesterday morning, and I always feed Patrick by himself first. I already had my breakfast nuking in the microwave, so I figured the bowl we had stuff in would be a good hiding place for the other can while I got Patrick his can, especially since it had a big box of Christmas cookies nestled in the top of it. I very carefully, careful also not to be seen by the kids, picked up the Christmas cookies and set the can in the bowl surrounded by a few other, odd goodies we have. I covered it back up with the cookies and went to feed Patrick. Not even five minutes later -- probably not even three --, I was headed back to the kitchen when I saw the babies had a can. I figured for sure they'd gotten the can, but when I looked at the bowl, it looked completely undisturbed. Needless to say, it WAS that can, but somehow they got it and put everything back in place the way I'd had it!! Little stinkers! =)

Love and hugs to you all!! Stay warm and stay safe!!



January 17



I almost want to say I forgot about making a journal entry yesterday, and it's almost the truth. I DID think about it about a half dozen times, but every time, before I could make the entry, I forgot again. There's just something about this bloody cold weather -- and freaking SNOW for the SECOND time already this season -- that makes me not want to do much of anything. I even feel sometimes like my very brain is frozen!

And the worst thing about it remains the way the porch, ramp, and stairs become so completely iced over and so bloody dangerous. I had to wrap around the railing to get down again today and was still singing gospel by the time I finally made it to the ground. Bear in mind I was singing the very same song I sang when they were sewing me up from the wreck in the fourth grade and I didn't even know for sure if Momma and Drew had made it or not. NOT a good feeling!!

Another definitely NOT good feeling is the reminder I received today that one should never, EVER make fun of somebody else, even if it's not aloud. Dad used to drive me crazy crawling up the stairs and into the trailer. I already chalked it up to him being too drunk, but today, in order to get back in the house after work, I had to crawl in. There was NO WAY I could make it up the ramp with it partially frozen and partially slush, and I KNOW I would've fallen off the stairs if I had tried that route. So I crawled, hands and knees, up the steps (because I figured I'd still fall off the ramp doing that way) and into the trailer. Definitely not my proudest moment!

But I DID make it to and back from work!! And we also contacted a friend who brought a load of dirt and spread it over the ramp and steps, and it's now A LOT safer to come and go, thank God and thank Earl!

Love y'all!! Stay warm! *HUGS*





It is finally warming up here, and it's ridiculous how warm 40-50 degrees feels when you've grown so accustomed to freezing temperatures! It almost feels like Spring is finally coming, and yet it's not going to reach 60 today! I also know that there is ALWAYS another cold snap before Easter, and Easter still remains two long months away on April 1. Easter on April Fool's Day! I didn't remember this ever happening before, but a quick Google confirmed that it does happen every now and again.

The Assistant Manager is going on vacation starting tomorrow. She needs one, bless her heart, as she's still struggling with sickness after about a month now and really needs to get some major rest. Mrs. O will, of course, be gone on the weekend. And since our Deli Manager is still in training, guess who that leaves in charge? Yeah. I'm both excited and nervous about it. It also means I'm looking at having to stay over 2 hours on Sunday, possibly more, to get the paperwork done, but I'm really hoping I can get most of it knocked out of the way BEFORE I'd usually get off at 1 on Sunday.

Here's a question for you animal lovers out there: How do y'all tolerate hunters? I was stunned today to find out a really good friend is a hunter... When I was younger, that was enough to end a "friendship", and I say "friendship" for the simple reason that I never had any real friends growing up.

I've also started listening to a new history book, and I've already picked up some interesting tidbits. Yesterday, I learned that the original Lone Ranger was a black man (a very little known fact there!), and today, I learned that the reason we Americans call dollars bucks came about because buckskins used to be used as almost a type of currency back in the early days. And speaking of the early days, I somehow never realized before that Daniel Boone and his stories happened at the same time our country was being founded and earning her independence from Britain.

Stay safe and warm, y'all! I hope it's warming up where y'all are too. Love and hugs to one and all! *HUGS*





I actually managed to get my butt up at 1 and stay up like I'm supposed to and even got my desired daily word count of 1500 (EXCLUDING this journal entry)! FINALLY I seem to be getting things back together! Everything went smoothly at work, although I do feel sorry for our newest maintenance man. He's always so willing to help he's let them talk him into doing a double: maintenance this morning and deli tonight. Our newest deli worker called in. I'm sorry, but the deli manager in training should be the one filling in! Failing that, Mikey should've had to come in this morning and let R pull the evening deli shift!

I had a scam artist today who had to make me laugh. One thing we are absolutely NOT allowed to do is to do ANYTHING at all with the money order machine or the phone card machine unless we have the person wanting us to do whatever it is in person. This guy calls in pretending to be our "on site" 24/7 tech and claiming we had a problem with the machine yesterday. He even goes as far as to say that he's got a tech set to come out Monday at 11am. Then he starts saying I just need to do this "one thing" on the machine. I stopped him right then and there -- apologized politely and explained we're not allowed to do anything with the machine over the phone. Most "artists" would have tried to argue or even scare me. (We even had a guy once threaten to come kill one of our girls because she wouldn't do what he was asking!) This guy just immediately hung up. LOL Always stand your ground, girls (and guys), when you know you're in the right!

I'm going to ask for a prayer for a dear friend and her mother. They're still not sure what happened, but the mother just suddenly started acting better. I HATE to say it, but it's too often been my experience that when somebody who's seriously ill suddenly starts acting all better -- well, we'll just say it's usually NOT a good sign. Please pray for them and their family. <3

I noticed Marilyn's pups running to meet the car yesterday before the car ever got to the usual place where they catch up to us. (We were, like, almost a hour late.) I guess everybody's babies run for them when they know they're coming home, and I'm sure it's a good feeling for us all. :)

Love and hugs to you all! Stay warm, and stay safe!

And yes, we STILL have a little bit of snow left! Also, we've just finished rewatching the very first TMNT movie, and it sure is nice to see the boys in action again! I still love Casey. I still love them all! But it's funny how much more I connect with Splinter and catch on to his thoughts these days rather than Raphael's. I know I'm a strange mixture of the both.





I was so proud of myself earlier. I got the paperwork done both days in relatively short time and actually got to leave at 1 today like I normally do instead of having to stay late for 2 hours to do the paperwork. It's finally warming up, and the warmer weather had been feeling almost Springy. The kids are loving it (although Marilyn's pooches somehow got mixed up and tried to meet us about a half mile up the road after we'd already gone pass her place (I use a abandoned lot just by her place to turn around in rather than trying her drive which isn't the best in the world) and were turning around)! The babies finally got to go out today and should be able to have some more fun tomorrow! I've gotten up on time and stayed up every workday this week, gotten some words in every day (2k each the last two days!), and managed to refrain from eating any extra sweets other than the one something I allow myself in the mornings before I go in. I've also managed to stay up on the kids' meds and toothpasting and have brushed ten of them every day! I'm right where I need to be, IOW!

But ever since Drew and I sat down for dinner, I've felt only one word: exhausted, only right now the way I'm feeling I'd spell it EXHAUSTED!! Love and hugs to you all! Uno mas dai (one more day)!



January 22



I don't know what the heck it was, but something knocked the crap out of me yesterday. I had a relatively easy weekend and was excited to get some extra time off Monday. Yet by the time I got home, and I'm sure not sleeping well the night before hadn't helped, I was so dang tired I passed out by 3pm and didn't get up again AT ALL (not even for the bathroom!) until 1am this morning. Even then, I couldn't stay up and ended up laying back down until 3:30.

Yet, when I got up and got my shower then, I was feeling much, much better and finally managed to tackle another big bang! Guys, I got OVER 11k words done today!!!!!!!

Drew also had her VA appointment, and the doctor was actually there today and seems to be back to her normal self. Not only is she no longer trying to push the podiatrist on her, but she's wanting to get her in to see a wound specialist as fast as possible and agreed that she should have seen one long before now. Just keep praying that we'll get her to the right doctor and her feet will be healed!!!

In other news, I am so totally enjoying the fourth Kingdom Keepers! I am officially HOOKED on the series and have a feeling I'm going to be very upset that there's not more than six books in the series. Normally, a book this long would take me at least a month and a half to read, but I started this one, like, a week into January and don't have very much more to go before I finish it! And, in fact, I'm going to cut this short so I can get some more reading time in before bed. ;)

Love y'all! Hugs and warm wishes to one and all!



January 24



Yesterday was not a good day, but I think I've got my problem mostly figured out now. I spent most of yesterday being nauseous and having major stomach cramps. Some of y'all might remember the back problems I've had in the past due to constipation issues. Those pains now seem to have moved into my stomach, but after getting back on my old medicine, which I'd gotten off of because I had a water mix that seemed to be working even better for those issues but they've recently stopped making it, I finally began to get some relief and am feeling much, much better. I am also arranging to get with the doctor who first recommended Drew go to a wound specialist to get some work done and hopefully, finally get to the bottom of all these issues with my system. But of course her feet, once she gets an appointment set with a wound specialist, must come first!

I've been loathe in mentioning this, because I didn't want to jinx anything. My wild, baby boy Panther has been losing weight lately and showing some signs of lethargy. I wanted to take him to the vet, but it just hasn't been feasible yet. It doesn't help that the vets, although some of them do try their hardest, aren't always helpful. They run all sorts of tests and then still don't have answers, like with Merlyn, but thank God, after I put him on iron, he seemed to shape up. We've not got Patty on double iron doses (once in the morning, once in the evening) and Clavamox, and thank God, I'm beginning to show some definite signs of improvement.

Still, please pray for him and Drew. I'd also like to ask prayer for the dying sister of a very good friend, one of my best in RL. She's already lost too many people and had to watch too many of them die, and I know this is hitting her hard. I'm also asking prayer for the mother of another dear friend.

Hope y'all are all doing well, but I'm running short of time and just got contacted by a hacker under a friend's account on Facebook and will be turning the little scum in. Gotta run, but know that my prayers and love are always with y'all all!! Love you, all!! *HUGS*





It's Friday, almost time for bed, and my brain is complete much. Let's see if I can remember ANY of what I've been planning to share with y'all.

I'm continuing to enjoy that Old West history audiobook. I had no idea that both Davy Crockett and Daniel Boone were politicians along with everything else they were! They both held office, and Crockett even tried hard to become President! He went up against Andrew Jackson, and if he'd won, our nation would probably be a very different, and possibly better, place. The biggest issue? The freedom of the Indians! If Crockett had won, I don't think they ever would have been forced onto reservations!

We all know psychos have been around forever, but try this one on for size: Crockett actually helped to save Jackson's life in the very first Presidential assassination attempt. A man who thought he was King Richard the Third tried to shoot Jackson, but Jackson was trying to beat him off with his cane when Crockett and a group of men jumped the would-be assassinator and tackled him to the ground. The gun had misfired when he'd first tried to kill Jackson, and in the ensuing brawl, he got off another shot, but it misfired too! Sounds like God might have been watching out for him, or so would say those same people who believe(d) that George Washington was never killed in the Revolutionary War, despite even having a horse shot out from under him twice (poor animals!) because he was a favorite of the Lord's.

They're saying rain here again tomorrow and then dropping back down into the cold, unfortunately, but as I've mentioned before, we all know that it's going to keep having cold fronts pass through until at least Easter. There's rumors of possible snow on Monday that have had Drew freaking out, but neither weather website we used are saying snow or even rain yet on that day. We certainly don't want or need any more!

It's funny how cold it can feel sometimes when it's 64! And yet 30 feels warm some days . . .

Marilyn and I got escorted by animals this morning and greeted again this evening. One of her little dogs led the way out from her place today, and a local wild cat we were afraid might have been gone showed up ion front of the car this morning while I was heading out, fine and dandy, thank God! Then, on the way back home, in addition to being greeted by our usual "herd"s, we discovered that there are at least two horses and one donkey on her road. They were all at the fence watching us and being at full attention. Turns out that there were ambulance, police, AND firemen sirens running just scant moments before I got home, which had Drew thanking God aloud when she saw me. I admit I wasn't too happy; she too often thinks I should be home much faster than I can be. There was one time she thought I should be home at one when our shift change doesn't even start 'til 1!

But all that's smoothed over now.

Kit Carson first made a name for himself by rescuing an Indian woman. I can't quote what the book said he said, which was supposedly a direct quote, but it definitely sounded like it could have come out of Ezra Standish's mouth! I just started the chapter on him, but he may well turn out to be one to whom I need to pay more attention!

I feel like there was something else, but I really, really can't think of it right now. And yet it's probably going to come to me just as soon as I sign off! Hugs and love to you all!! Stay warm, and stay safe -- and that's what it was!!!! I pity anyone who has to be out on the night of January 31. For those of y'all who haven't heard, there's going to be a blue blood superman equinox! That just spells trouble!! Be safe!





It doesn't feel like January at all today to me, and for once, that's a good thing. We're all enjoying the warmer weather despite the rain!

I've been having some kind of dark thoughts lately, but I don't really want to get into them. Let me just say that, despite how it may sometimes seem, it sometimes hard to keep the faith. I'm sure everybody has their moments though no matter how faithful a Christian they are.

Mel's sister passed last night. And yet again, it was another example of how loved ones seem to get better just before the end. They said Daddy was getting better. Muffin felt so much better the morning he died that he was able to take a flying leap over stairs straight into my lap just a couple of hours, if that long, before he died. Mel's sister felt well enough that she was able to call all her grandchildren, Mel, and the rest of their family. They thought she was going to come through it. I don't know what's worse: having those last few moments with them and thinking they're going to get better only to still lose them or not having that time at all and just watching them wither away. It all hurts regardless.

A friend of Drew's has finally woken up from a coma, but he's still not able to hold anything down. I pray this isn't his last few good moments.

I feel a need to warn y'all and anyone who might read this or who has a loved one in the hospital: Don't trust the hospitals. I don't give a damn how good they claim to be or who you think you have working in the staff. Don't trust them!! Do NOT leave your loved ones alone with them. Be there every waking moment you possibly can be. Back when Drew was in the hospital, I almost lost her due to nurses overmedicating her! I don't know for sure what medication it was that they'd given her, but Mel's sister has pretty much died because a different hospital overdosed her with morphine. Talking to Marilyn, I learned of somebody she knew who was almost killed with an overdose of Benadryl, again while in a hospital! Do. Not. Trust. Them!!!!

I hope y'all's days are not as rainy as mine. Love and hugs to you all!





I had several things to post about today, but already my mind is melting now that I've reached the actual posting act. Maybe I need to start trying to do it earlier. I had two things I was going to mention that are disheartening, but one of them I can't, for the life of me, remember. The other is that I saw a headline today that said the Eastern cougar is officially extinct. :'( Y'all know me and how I feel about cats, so you can easily imagine how this is very upsetting news. I need to find time to research and see if this is ALL cougars or just a specific subset, but I've not had the time yet.

Something else that is disheartening, but I don't think this was the other thing I was going to mention, is how blind, dumb, and rash people can be. Listening to that old West audiobook, I've now heard of either two or three ENTIRE TRIBES of Indians who were wiped out because the settlers THOUGHT they had something to do with an attack that they actually had absolutely NOTHING to do with. They were killed for what other tribes did, and none of the white people realized it until it was too late, even those who were not, like Crockett and Kit Carson (who was actually related to and idolized Crockett), prejudiced against the "red people". And that is to say that Crockett and Carson were NOT prejudiced. In fact, Carson, so far in the tale, has married three times, and the first two times were to Indian women! The third was to a Mexican senorita.

And we certainly haven't learned anything much since those times about not acting rashly or in anger.

The Asst. Manager came back yesterday. It's good to have her back, and I'm relieved that, despite having left her keys (and no I wasn't nosy and asked her why she left them), she IS back. She also made Drew and I a surprise today. We regular have cornbread, both regular and jalapeno bacon chedder, in the deli, but Drew and I can't handle the spice of the jalapenos. The Gargoyles weren't kidding when they used those peppers for cuss words! But AM made four bacon cheddar cornbread muffins WITHOUT jalapenos just for us and even bought them for us! She said to tell Drew it was a late birthday gift, which meant the WORLD to Drew as, bless her heart, the only presents she received this year were from me. :(

I am currently watching Victor getting in the toilet tank for the SECOND time this afternoon. I swear dogs and cats can be so much alike! He's thrown the lid into the floor and is DRINKING the water in the tank!! It's a good thing we're always careful NOT to use dangerous chemicals around the kids! LOL

It's funny how friends can surprise us. Sometimes they say exactly the thing we need to hear. Two days ago, while in the shower (always a great thinking time for me), it dawned on me why I keep muttering about how I want to go home, often even when I am home. That's because this place is no longer home. Home isn't a place at all, as I've brought out in several of my stories and read/watched other authors do as well. It's a person, or in my case, several people. Drew and the babies are home, but it's not a complete home, not without Daddy and Aunt Georgia to run to just around the corner. I am not home, and I will not be home until I go to Heaven.

Speaking of which, I kind of surprised AM today when a customer muttered about he didn't know how "good" a morning it was. She was quick to retort that he'd woken up and that was a good thing. I told her in a quiet voice that not everybody finds that to be a good thing every day of their lives. She's lost so many I know she knows that, but I don't think she was expecting me to call her on the comment. I don't know what that poor guy's story was, why he was hurting so badly, but I know something major was wrong. I hope the Lord blesses him and told him I hoped whatever it was would get better. <3

But anyhow, that's why I've been in quite the glum mood lately, but then when Marilyn and I got to talking on the ride home, she said something without even thinking, I think, that meant the world to me and that I must and will remember. We were talking about how her niece is going to regret treating her children and father the way she does. I told her how Momma and Drew both always warned me that I would one day regret fighting with Daddy. I didn't believe I would, because God knows he put us all through major crap while he was alive -- or, at least, his alcohol did. I admitted to her that yes, I do regret those fights now, but it's too late. But because of what I have experienced, I know her niece will one day wake up and regret it all too, but it will, sadly, probably be too late for her too. Marilyn told me that she was sure Daddy regrets how he acted and how he let the alcohol destroy him. I never thought about it, but he didn't have a clear mind. I know that much already. He was poisoned since he was a child. He let the darkness consume him. The alcohol was a disease, just like depression and so many other mental diseases. He wasn't free of any of it until he died, and when he died, Drew and I felt such a wave of relief fill him and the atmosphere in the room. But when he woke in Heaven, I'm sure he did regret all the time we'd lost just like I do. I'm sure he has so much he wants to say to me, to tell me, but he can't -- not until we meet again in Heaven. And that's exactly why I've GOT to stay on the right path: so we can see each other again, be together forever, and finally tell each other how much we mean to one another and that we do love each other. It's going to be a joyful reunion, but we won't be home until we get there.

Hope that didn't depress y'all, but this is my journal and I'm supposed to be both sharing the good things and telling the truth and that is the truth. Love you all!! *HUGS* And thank you, each and every one, for all y'all do to keep me going too! <3





Today should be my Friday if everything stays according to plan. This is the first week in I don't remember how long that I have actually managed to stay up every day starting at 1:15am (now if I can just get to bed at 5 or skip those 15 minutes and make it a solid 1). I have written every day, have not missed giving the kids any of their medications or pasting their teeth (although I so want to make a video one day of me doing their toothbrushing so that y'all can see how loco some of them go over it! ;) ), and am actually caught up on posting, not on reading or E-mails but at least on posting what I've written except for the two I just wrote. We are also caught up on clothes! I seriously can't tell y'all when the last time this happened was and hope staying on top finally becomes routine despite recognizing that the chances of that are slim indeed. I have also, BTW, either made or almost made my writing goal every day -- in fact, if you count the words written in the journal herein, I HAVE made the goal every day! I also sincerely hope that this doesn't mean an unforeseen change in our routines is coming as is so often the case when we start being on top of things.

On another note, in the last three days alone, Mel has lost her sister, and another person with whom I used to work has lost her lover. Is it me, or does it still seem like more and more people we know are passing each and every day?! Is it because we're getting older? Or are we getting closer to the time to go home? Or do we somehow just know more people than we used to and that's why more people are passing? Or are the old diseases starting to come back, I wonder, given what that one person's lover passed with used to be more common but is now considered a rare disease?

I don't know. In a way, as I've mentioned before and I'm sure y'all will get to hear again (rather you want to or not), I am ready to go home, but I also don't want to suffer the loss of anybody more before I get to go home. My fondest wish is that somehow Drew, myself, and all our babies get to go home together all at one time.

*sigh* I guess only will tell. Love and hugs to you all! Be safe today wherever you may go or whatever you may do, and know you're loved! Kat out.



January 30



I ended up wasting my Tuesday writing morning, but my baby helped me to get some words in this morning. I was just wasted Tuesday morning. I woke up at 11:30 the night before. I don't know why (what woke me up), but I should've just stayed home. I was far more exhausted when the clock went off and ended up going back to bed and sleeping until Drew came home. No words for me that day, not even a journal entry. :(

We ended up having to take Didymus to the shelter, but at least they've done a 360 there with the new staff. They actually work hard to care for the dogs at least and to find them homes, even to the point of taking them up North to places where pets are actually scarce. It's hard to imagine anywhere where people are actually hurting for animals to love. :( But he had evidently been abusing Abigail to the point she spent three days staying away from home, and we saw him attack Xena over a stupid treat again. So we really had very little choice. We can only pray God will find him the right home. We had tried to find him a good home ourselves, but the only opportunity besides us he'd had presented wanted him for a guard dog only and would have kept him on a chain 24/7 -- so NOT a good life for any living being!

Thanks to my baby, I did get 5,220 words in this morning, but it still isn't enough to make my 45k word count goal. HOWEVER, I DID put 10k words into that big bang last week, so I'm going to truly let my journal words count this month. That SHOULD give me the rest of what I need to make my goal. It's been an interesting month with ups and too many downs, and it truly does seem like a long time since last Christmas. Unlike most months, this one hasn't flown by -- at least not for me.

Love and hugs to you all! Thank you for helping me keep going and for putting up with my silliness, dorkiness, and occasional insanity! ***HUGE HUGS***

Tags: christian thoughts, holidays: christmas, holidays: new year's, journal, our babies: abigail, our babies: abraham, our babies: billy diego, our babies: diaval, our babies: didymus, our babies: ensemble, our babies: henri, our babies: honey, our babies: jareth tobias, our babies: liger, our babies: padfoot, our babies: sandy, our babies: victor, our babies: xena, real life, real life sucks, real life: dad, real life: drew, real life: happy jar, real life: ol friends are the best, real life: other relatives, tm7: ezra, tmnt: raphael, tmnt: splinter
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