Kat Lee (katleept) wrote,
Kat Lee

Spike's Letter to Santa

This was written for a challenge over at nekid_spike, but then I forgot to post it in time.

Dear Santa,

This is bloody barmy! I know I’m off my rocker, but this is beyond even my dumbest moments. But I’ve been thinking about this and about you and about her ever since I saw that stupid infomercial after Passions one night.

Maybe you can help. If anybody can, and if you are real as some blokes say you are even though Giles denies you exist, it’d be you. The thing is, I don’t believe in you. Never have, never will unless you prove me otherwise and you sure haven’t yet. If you wanna take that as a challenge, go for it, “jolly, old” Saint Nick.

Thing is, I’ve got a kid in my life -- a real special girl -- who deserves to be happy for Christmas. She deserves to be happy always, but I can’t seem to make her that way. Nobody can now that her sister gave her life saving hers and the world. They can say Buffy did it for the world all they want, but I know they truth. She wasn’t thinking of the world when she jumped; she was thinking of Dawnie.

See, Dawn’s this special girl who can make the saddest moments brighter. She can make you laugh even when all you feel like doing is dying. She has no happiness herself, but she gives it to everybody around her. She’s more human than anybody I’ve ever known, except maybe for her sister, and she wasn’t even supposed to be human.

She started out as some kind of cosmic key that Buffy was supposed to protect. That’s all she was supposed to be, according to the monks who made her into a living, breathing girl: just another person Buffy needed to protect. But she’s much, much more.

She’s the reason we’re still fighting. Me, Willow, Giles, even the Zeppo . . . She’s the reason every one of us is still fighting the darkness inside and out, and she’s got a darkness in her, too, one that’s darker than any girl her “age” should have. She reminds me of myself in a few ways, especially when I see that darkness in her.

But I don’t want her to succumb to the darkness, and that’s what brings me here, to writing this insane letter to a person who, if he does exist, certainly never showed up underneath my tree when I was a human brat. I don’t know if you exist, but even if you don’t, maybe this letter will reach someone who can help somehow, some way, any way.

Whoever reads this, I’m willing to do anything. Anything! All I’m asking for is a little happiness for Dawn. True happiness. I know we can’t bring her sister back. If we did, she’d be wrong. She wouldn’t be Buffy. But there’s got to be a way to give her little sister some happiness anyway. She deserves to have a merry Christmas, if anyone does. If you can, and if you’re reading this, please help.


“Now if I’m just bloody nuts enough to mail this thing!”

Tags: btvs: dawn, btvs: spike, btvs: spike/dawn, holidays: christmas
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