Author: Kat Lee
Character/Pairing: Linda/Harley, Becker, Margaret
Challenge/Prompt: lands_of_magic: Blind Date (If you join, be sure to tell them Kat Lee of Team Winter sent YOU!)
Word Count: 1,263
Date Written: 3 July 2017
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
"MARGARET, HAVE YOU LOOKED AT THESE FORMS?! THEY DON'T MAKE ANY DAMN SENSE!" Becker thunders, stalking out of his office and shaking a stack of papers at his head nurse. She doesn't look up; she doesn't even seem to have heard him. "MARGARET, DID YOU HEAR ME?"
"John," she commands, her voice barely above a whisper, "stop yelling."
His mouth is open to do more of the same, but he shuts it instead, his teeth clenching and sucking at his cigar. Margaret's always telling him to stop yelling, but there's something different about her this morning. Something's majorly off. She's not looking at him, and he could barely hear her retort. "What's . . . " he starts to ask, but she cuts him off again.
"I'M NOT YELLING!" Realizing he just did, Becker mutters, "Well, I wasn't. What's wrong with you toda--?"
"John," Margaret hisses, "hush. And look up."
Worry creasing his brow, Becker tries again to get a look at Margaret's face, but he can't see her face, only the side of it. The half he can see looks . . . scared? John's heart thuds hard in his chest as he looks up, following Margaret's gaze pass the patients who all seem to have frozen in their seats to the open door. He gapes, and his cigarette falls out of his mouth and onto the floor. Margaret moves just enough to stomp the spark of fire out of their old carpet.
There's a barely clothed tramp in the door. At first Becker thinks the girl is just Linda dressed up in a weird costume and playing one of her sick jokes, but then she comes from a side room, blowing her bubble gum and calling out to him. "Doctor Becker, there's a -- "
"Shut up, Linda!"
"I haven't even said anything yet!"
The stranger in the door swivels her head. Her blue eyes zero in on the brunette, whose bubblegum suddenly plasters across her startled face. "Ha! Ha! You're cute, and you're Linda, right?" The blonde, whose skin-tight mini-skirt and tube top are half black and half red, grins. She bobs her pigtails as she waits eagerly for the other girl's response.
"I -- I'm Linda," Margaret starts.
"MARGARET!" Becker shouts, astonished. He clamps a hand down on her shoulder.
"No, she's not! I don't know why she's trying to get the praise!" Linda cuts eyes at her bosses. "I'm Linda!" She wipes the gum from her mouth as she asks, "Who are you?"
The stranger swings the big mallet she carries. The patients gasp and finally move, scurrying further away from the door. "Linda -- " Margaret starts to reach for the girl, but Becker stops her.
"I'm Harley Quinn! I got out today!"
"You're Harley . . . " Linda looks puzzled, but then she suddenly brightens. "You're my pen pal from prison!"
"From prison?!" Becker repeats, muttering behind Margaret.
Margaret turns her hand in the strong hand that caught hers, stilling her from giving herself to save Linda. Maybe it's a good thing Becker had stopped her! "I told that girl not to make correspondence with a deadly criminal!"
"Oh, Margaret!" Linda laughs. The patients gasp again and seem to try to pull even further away. A baby starts to cry.
Becker rolls his eyes. "DAMN IT," he growls, "NOT NOW! THERE'S A REASON I'M NOT A DAMN PEDIATRICIAN!"
"JOHN!" Margaret hisses, warning him with her slanted, dark eyes that, if ever there was a time for him to hold his tongue, it's now.
"Harley's not a dangerous criminal! She's a good friend, a good girl, just a little misunderstood, like me! That's all! Now her boyfriend, he was bad news, but she dumped him and is doing much better for herself! Isn't that right, Harley?" Linda asks, starting, without hesitation, toward the crazy-looking beauty in the doorway of the doctor's office.
"Whatever you say, sweetums!" Her blue eyes gleam with a deadly light as she glowers back over at Becker and Margaret, who's now trembling. "You want me to kill 'em?"
Linda puts a hand on her hip. "Now, Harley, what did I just say?"
"You told them I wasn't a dangerous criminal, but they didn't believe you! And I know how they treat you! You told me all about it in your letters! Are you sure you don't want me to kill them?!"
"Yes, I'm sure!" Linda says, grabbing the arm of the hand that isn't swinging the mallet. She turns to pull her out of the office. "I'd much rather get a donut or coffee or something with you! Wouldn't you rather have a date than go on a killing spree?"
"We can do both!"
"But one's way more fun than the other!"
"Yeah, dating's more fun, especially with what comes after!"
"Are you that kind of girl?"
"I can be for the right kind of girl!"
Harley giggles, and Linda laughs along with her. "See?" the brunette asks. "We're having more fun already! Come on!" She pulls her out of the door but sticks her head back in just when everybody was beginning to think they were gone, causing the patients to scream. Margaret and Becker both jump. Margaret clamps a hand over her heart and glowers at Linda. "Don't wait up, and don't call the cops," Linda tells them happily, "or I will set her free!"
"Linda -- " Becker growls.
"Don't fire her now, John!" Margaret pleads. "Dear Lord, whatever you do, don't fire her now!"
"Yeah!" Linda's eyes seem to light with a glow that very closely resembles Harley's. "Don't fire me, and don't dock my pay!"
"But -- "
"No buts," she warns, "or you can talk to my mallet-swinging sister or lover or whatever she is!" Linda hesitates just long enough to make sure her bosses aren't going to argue with her before returning to Harley's side. She thinks about Reggie's but opts instead for the nearest Krispy Kreme.
Back inside the doctor's office, everybody, patient, doctor, and nurse, looks wide-eyed at one another as they listen to each other's heavy breathing. Finally, when they think it's safe, one of the older patients lets out a shrill scream that starts the rest of them screaming. "Dear Lord!" Margaret gasps, placing both hands over her ears.
The patients flee the office, leaving her alone with Becker, who sinks, with an audible groan, into the nearest chair. "Get me a doctor," he orders. Margaret just looks at him helplessly. No doctor can help with the mess in which they've found themselves!
"I told you that girl was bad news," she says as gently as she can.
"They both are," Becker agrees, "but what the Hell do I do now? I can't fire her!"
"No," Margaret agrees quietly, "you can't, not with that crazy thing hanging on her."
"Yeah." John snorts. "Then, Hell, I quit!"
"I quit too!" she adds quickly.
Becker studies her for a long, quiet moment before asking, "You wanna get something to eat?"
"John, you know I'm married!"
"Oh. Yeah. Well, then, I guess I'll see you -- " He starts toward the door.
Margaret pipes up. "On the very day they put Harley Quinn back in jail, but in the mean time . . . "
He turns back around. "Yes?"
"Friends can eat lunch together."
"Yeah." For a moment, she thinks his grin might actually break his face, but it doesn't. "Yeah, they can. Come on." She's never left the doctor's office in such a hurry or ran so quickly to join a man who wasn't her husband, but just maybe, he was her best friend after all.