Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Challenge/Prompt: nekid_spike Day 6: Clouds, Dark, and Bad
Word Count: 392
Date Written: 7 May 2017
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Whedon, not the author, and are used without permission.
This sucks. This isn't like me at all, but then you've made me find a new part of me I never knew existed before. I know you were born to be some kind of cosmic key, but it feels sometimes like you've given me a key to my own heart. No one's ever made me feel like this before, kiddo. It's always been about the passion, the heat, the fire, but not with you.
With you, it's different. With you, I hesitate even to touch you. I want to chase all your clouds away and keep you happy, wholesome, and pure -- and God knows nothing I touch stays that way for long. Maybe that's why I've adopted a policy with you. I look at you every day, but I won't touch you. I won't condemn you to a life like mine. I want be the sponge that sucks up all your goodness and leaves you with nothing but bad.
All my life, I've wanted to be bad. I thought for a long time I wasn't capable of doing anything more, but then your sister and her boyfriend got a hold of me. I found out I had more good in me than I'd ever thought before, but it still wasn't enough. And it isn't going to be enough now. You deserve better than me, Dawnie, so I'll look, I'll watch you as you grow up, I'll help you, if I can, to find your right path in life, the good things you deserve -- and when you get up out of this Hellhole and marry some guy who doesn't deserve you, I'll cheer at your wedding.
I'll dance, and I'll fuck the nearest bartender, but I'll never hold you back. You might not be the key you were meant to be, but you're going to have all the doors opened for you. I'll make damn sure of that, and that you get what you deserve, which isn't me. I'll be watching from afar always, but you'll never know how bad I want you. You'll never know, but you'll get everything you deserve and not be bothered by what you don't deserve, namely, me. I'll make sure of it, 'cause I'll slay anybody who stands in the way. The world is your oyster, but I'll do the shucking, baby, always for you.