Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Challenge/Prompt: nekid_spike Day 4: Blood, Sunshine, When the Sun Goes Down, Wrecked
Word Count: 553
Date Written: 6 May 2017
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Whedon, not the author, and are used without permission.
Sometimes he wonders what it would have been like if she had not come into his life. He wonders if he ever would have grown to be more than the man he was when he first met her. His mother would surely have still died on him, and he can't imagine having found another love. He had opened his heart before Cecily, after all, and had it thoroughly stamped upon. He had never belonged in that world.
But sometimes, he feels like he doesn't belong in this one. Sometimes, he wonders about the rush of screams and fleeing victims. The other Vampires enjoying reaping terror as much as they do dining on fresh blood, but on some nights, he can't find the fun in it. Every once in a while, he wishes they could just stay home after the sun goes down, stay home and be the family his Princess calls them.
But they're not a family. They're merely a gathering of monsters. He understands that sometimes too well. The realization startles him at times when he least expects it, when his teeth are buried deep into a victim's neck, when Angelus and Darla are laughing and dancing in the blood they've all caused to run through the emptied streets, when humans look at his pretty, pretty mistress and scream their fool heads off . . .
But when he looks at her, he forgets all else. Gazing into her dark, enchanting eyes always hushes the worries that might otherwise tear at his mind. She holds his hands and gazes up at him, and for a while, while she's looking so adoringly up at him, Spike can forget everything else. He can forget the way she chases after Angelus.
He can forget that they live on the border of their lives being wrecked every day, and not just because they might wake up one day in flames because of this girl they've been hearing about called a Slayer. He can overlook the blood on his beauty's face and forget to miss the sunshine. He can forget to miss the love he once craved even and settle instead to take the love she offers -- the wicked love that shines so beautifully in her promising eyes, the love that isn't fully his, the love that is only his until she finds a more powerful Vampire to love or Angelus decides he wants her instead of Darla or in addition to.
He can forget the world and just watch his Princess' eyes, and for a while, Spike can believe again. He can believe she does love him and that they are a family. He can believe his life is a whole and that being monsters isn't necessarily a bad thing. He can believe he has everything he wants right here in this amazing woman he holds in his arms and that his dreams while he was a human of a pure and powerful love between two partners who give everything for each other was just that: dreams, passing dreams, human dreams meant to be forgotten.
"Tell me I'm your everything," she whispers in his ear, and as she nibbles his lobe, he does so.
"You are my everything, my Princess, my love, my mistress, my sire," and for a while again, his words are true.