Author: Kat Lee
Challenge/Prompt: femslash100 #542: Deja Vu
Word Count: 279 (Sorry, just couldn't seem to get this one cut down to size!)
Date Written: 11 April 2017
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Marvel Comics and Disney, not the author, and are used without permission.
It feels strange, having her hands ghost over her arms as she lets herself be brought closer. She tries to ignore the deja vu feeling and the memories that the woman holding her now is not the same one as the Rachel who held her before. She looks the same. She acts the same in so many ways. She even feels the same. Her lips taste the same, and her caresses make her tingle in the same ways.
But she isn't her Rachel, her Ray. "We . . . " She tries to force her thoughts out of her mouth, but they won't come. She tries to force her way out of Rachel's embrace, but she doesn't want to go.
"We can't? We shouldn't? Kitty, there's a whole world out there that hates us and wants us dead. We've got to live for the moment or we'll never live. I can't give her back to you. I would if I could, but I can't. All I can be is me." Rachel gazes deeply into Kitty's eyes with eyes that look so much like her Ray's but aren't. "If that's not enough . . . "
Kitty's heart is breaking all over again, as it always does when she witnesses tears in Rachel's eyes. "No," she says quickly before she can change her mind yet again. "No, it is. It is!" She cups her face in her hands, wipes her tears away, and brings her in for another kiss. She kisses her until her eyes drift closed with passion, and then she closes her own eyes against the world, against her, against the promise of a new love and the guilt of having lived beyond the old one.