Author: Kat Lee
Fandom: The Addams Family
Word Count: 1,006
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are use without permission.
"Ah, 'Tish," Gomez sighs with joyful pride, "it was a lovely idea you had to dye the grass black."
"Well, darling," Morticia replies nonchalantly, "it's like they say: If you can't beat them, join them, or at least allow them to join you with a little better taste. I could not possibly allow our yard to continue looking so dreadful this time of year. At least it was crab grass, if we had to have grass grow into our beautiful, bleak, and bare back yard, but it still needed some help."
"And you gave it that help with the expert hand of God Himself!"
"Don't you mean Herself?" Morticia asks, but Gomez is on the start of a roll and doesn't appear to hear her injection.
"You know, when He made old Lucifer, He knew what He was doing, and you knew what you were doing with that awful, crowding grass! Although, you know," he adds with a wink, tossing his cigar to the side (which one of his wife's plants snatches deftly up in the air and swallows before Morticia can stop her), "they say the Devil is the most beautiful creature ever created, but I have to say they must be wrong! Surely not even he can best your beauty!"
"Oh, darling," 'Tish croons, "you really are too kind!"
"Hey, they broke the mold when they made you, cara mia!"
"They break the mold every time they make one of us Addamses, mon cherie."
"Ah, 'Tish! You spoke French!" Gomez leaps across their back yard and takes his wife's hand in his. He presses a swift kiss to the back of her hand, then turns her hand over, and kisses her palm. Quickly, he starts a series of searing kisses straight up her arm.
"Gomez, darling, is now really the best time?"
"Every time is the best time for loving you, cara bella! Quick, 'Tish! Speak some more! Mon amour . . . " he cries, punctuating every other word with another kiss on her silkily clad arm. "Mon ami . . . Soup de jour . . . Anything!"
"Now, now, bubeleh. We have work to do," Morticia speaks patiently, patting his cheek, "mon coeur." She waves away some of the steam filling in the air. It's coming not from either of them this time but from her plant that ate his cigar. She reaches a pale but gentle hand up for the trembling bud as it tries to hack up his tobacco. "There, there," she coaxes even as Gomez exclaims happily, "There you go again!"
His mustache bristles, and he keeps kissing her arm. Still patting his cheek with her other hand, Morticia tries to sooth and gain control, "Now, now, sweetheart. The back yard is not going to decorate itself, and Lurch will be along soon with the perfect tree for our children's second favorite holiday. You know it's never easy finding just the right Christmas tree, tall, dark, stately, and complete with its own colony of bats already alive in its trunk, but he always manages it."
"Just a few more words, 'Tish," Gomez groans, still continuing to ravish her arm. "Anything!" he cries, but by this time, his wife's attention has been caught by something else entirely.
Morticia slips out of Gomez's embrace and scurries elegantly forward. He almost falls without her in his arms but catches himself just in time. "Gomez, look!" she cries in delight, pointing at something up in the bare, tall trees that line this part of their estate. "Look at what, 'Tish?" he asks. "Look at how much I love you!"
"Gomez! I believe the spiders are trying to tell us something! What is it, dears?" she croons, batting her eyes, craning her neck, and looking high up into the boughs of the nearest tree. She watches one of the spiders swing down from the lowest branch in the tree, her dark eyes widening with her surprise at the arachnid's motions.
"Why, Gomez!" She gasps in surprise. "They're trying to decorate for us! Isn't that sweet?"
Gomez comes up behind his wife and slips an arm around her thin waist. Following her gaze, he bursts into another wide grin. "They're doing a fine job of it too!" he exclaims as they watch the spiders weaving their webs. "You don't find artistry like that in the shops any more!" Indeed, the spiders' webs are already glistening with brighter, more natural, and radiant silver than anything either of them has ever found in a store.
"They are beautiful, aren't they?" Morticia sighs with a happy smile. She watches the spiders as they make their own designs of bows and stars right there in their own back yard. "We are so lucky to have them!"
"Of course, querida, and I'm lucky to have you!" Taking her in his arms again, he presses his lips to her neck and starts to ravish her there instead of merely working his way back up her arm.
"Gomez!" Morticia laughs and pushes lightly against him. "You do have a one track mine today!"
"Always, mon chere!" His mustache bristles again. "Ooo! I spoke French this time!" His kisses swiften and deepen. "Hey, as long as our spider friends are doing the decorating for us, why shouldn't we take every advantage of the kids being away with Lurch?" His tongue slides across his wife's chilly flesh, igniting a fire deep within her.
Morticia laughs once more and pats his cheek again. "Very well, mon mari," she says, caving in at last.
Gomez whoops and hollers, picks her up, spins her around, and finally brings her down against him again. Her lips meet his readily enough, but behind his back, she sees the spiders spinning a new web. Working together, they rapidly and skillfully create a heart in their web before dropping a tiny plant down into it. Morticia recognizes the mistletoe immediately. She smiles as she deepens the passionate kisses she's already sharing with her husband. Maybe they are ready for Christmas this year after all.