Author: Kat Lee
Fandoms: Elvira, Mistress of the Dark/The Addams Family/The Munsters
Character/Pairing: Elvira/Morticia/Lily, mentions of Gomez/Morticia
Word Count: 1,210
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to their rightful owners, not the author, and are used without permission.
Tires screech and skulls laugh as she squeals through the small and narrow roads. She hasn't come this way in a while, and she wouldn't be here now if friends were not waiting to join her. She slides to a stop at one old, dark mansion just as a couple are hurrying through the creaking gates. She honks her horn, grins, and calls, "Hey, folks." The couple takes one look at her, screams again, and runs in the opposite direction.
"What's got their hairs standing up?" she asks as an old girlfriend of hers comes through the gate.
Lily, always the pictures of elegance, shrugs her thin, pale shoulders. "I do not know. We only invited them to stay for Halloween."
"Gramps do something again?"
"Actually, they ran from me when I offered them some Bloody Marys."
"Was it real blood?" Elvira asks knowingly with a wide grin.
"Why, of course! We only serve the best!"
"'Course you do," she says with a wink. "Come on and get your pumpkins in. We've still gotta pick up 'Tish."
Her car literally flies to the next stop. (That mechanic from the Underworld really did some major improvements on the old girl.) They come to a screeching stop right before another old and dark house. This time, there's a whole horde of little people racing and screaming from the mansion.
Elvira looks up to the roof when she hears cackling. She catches a glimpse of Lurch as he helps the Addams' matriarch to steady her cauldron in wait for the next batch of trick or treaters. "You know," Elvira quips, "that guy really is big, but he's pretty dead in bed!"
"Elvira!" Lily scolds and then laughs. "Is there any one you haven't had?!"
"Let's see," Elvira counters, meeting her gaze in her rearview mirror laced with cobwebs, "I had you two chicks back in college, banged Frankie again last night, and it's a different Werewolf with every full moon. I've had Drac and his Countess too, but you know, of course, there are folks I wouldn't even open my legs up to! Just not monsters." She laughs, her nose twinkling, as Lily's skin actually finds a little color.
Morticia hops into the car, and Elvira pouts. "No Wednesday tonight?"
"She's not old enough yet, dear."
"Oh? I thought the little goblin turned thirteen this year?"
"She did, but that's still not old enough for your brand of fun, Mistress of the Dark!"
Elvira lays a hand over her scantily clad breast. "You cut me to the quick, 'Tish! Do you French your husband with that mouth?"
Morticia grins. She hasn't been able to be this free in years! "Only nightly." She winks. "You know, we really should do this more often."
"I was thinking that, too, but Halloween only comes once a year!"
"Elvira, we're already flying! What about our brooms?"
"You don't need them this year, ghoulfriend! We've got a whole car to fly!"
Lily shakes her head in awe. "You do manage to get the most unique inventions."
"You think that's unique, you should see my latest trick." Elvira laughs.
Morticia winks. "I can't wait!"
"But you're a married woman!" Lily protests from the back seat.
"Married and dead, but not stiff!" Elvira calls back to her as she picks up speed. She hovers in the night sky, seeking one highway in particular. Route 666 will be busy this evening, but it's always the most fun road to drive!
"There we go!" she calls and zooms in between a Giant's legs. "Damn!" She whistles sharply. "Not even I would want that in me!"
"Elvira!" Lily admonishes, her skin coloring once more. "To hear you talk -- "
"Is something your grandfather loves to howl about!" Elvira completes, laughing. She flashes her a wide grin filled with sharp fangs. "Hey, babe. Don't prowl with the big bitches if you wanna stay with the little batties on the back porch!"
"What's on the agenda tonight, Mistress?" Morticia asks eagerly. "Gomez wants a full, detailed report in the morning!"
"I bet he does!" Elvira shoots back, waggling her black brows.
"We have dancing at Caritas in Los Angeles, howling with the Werewolves in London, the swing dance competition with the Vamps in Old Transylvania, and, of course, the real Rocky Horror Picture Show. I'm measuring Kiss' tongue again tonight, and we've got hands on entertainment Down Under. But first . . . " She spies the first big wheeler on Route 666 that hasn't had any interaction with their kind yet tonight. "It's time for some old fashioned fun!"
Laying down on her horn, she pulls up beside the big rig's cab and bursts out laughing again when the driver does a double take. "Come on, ghouls! It's time to show them we may be dead, but we're still women!"
Morticia lets her dress fly with an excited cry. It hits Lily in the face. She claws the silky cloth out of her eyes just in time to see Elvira and Morticia both shaking their bare, pale, and full breasts at the truck driver in tune to the theme song that used to bring Elvira on every Friday night. "DON'T YOU WANT IT, BABY?" she yells to the trucker over the roar of her own music and then squeals with delight, kicking her heels off, as he goes into the ditch.
She high fives Morticia, then yanks her flying car around and sets off for their next destination. "That was . . . not very . . . ladylike," Lily complains, dropping Morticia's dress back into her lap.
"Ladylike? Ghoul, who you riding with? What the Hell's happened to you in the last decade, Lily?" Elvira looks at Morticia. "Get back there, 'Tish, and remind her who she's riding with!"
Morticia grins. She hasn't feasted on Lily since the night of their college graduation. "My pleasure," she all but purrs, knowing she doesn't have to speak French to turn this lover on. She barrels over the back seat, still stark naked as she leaves Elvira with her dress. A helicopter drops out of the sky; Elvira steers smoothly out from underneath the copter that's dropping as its pilot drools. She doesn't have to go anywhere with these two to have fun, but that doesn't mean she doesn't want to. She turns up her music louder, beating her wheel in tune to both her rocking tunes and the gasps and moans rising from her back seat.
Lily isn't protesting now. She's too busy moaning and groaning as Morticia's fingers sweep over her body and plunder her treasure. The other woman's fangs graze her breast, and Lily cries out no longer in denial or in fright but in sheer pleasure.
"Hey, cool," Elvira comments, spotting the new Auto Pilot feature her mechanic installed. She hits the button, lifts her hands, and watches, for a moment, as her car drives itself. Then she, too, jumps into the back seat. She grabs both Lily and 'Tish at the same time and squeezes, yelling herself as Lily's mouth finds her core. "OH, HELL YEAH!" she shrieks. "THIS IS GOING TO BE A GHOUL'S NIGHT TO REMEMBER!" Then her mouth and her insides are full. She can speak no more, but her body sings for her all night long.