Author: Kat Lee
Character/Pairing: Crowley/Dean, brief Dean/Castiel
Challenge/Prompt: spn_bigpretzel: Reality Show
Word Count: 313
Date Written: 18 September 2016
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Kripke, not the author, and are used without permission.
"Ghouls and Demons, put your hands together -- " The TV host pauses and swivels his third eye, the one high above his head on a red stalk, at the sea creature hissing in the first row. "Or tentacles or whatever you have," he corrects, "for . . . " The band of hissing and snarling Demons behind the host gives him an important drum roll. "So You Want To Marry The Devil?"
"When we left off last week, Dean Winchester #3 was trying to make his way through the maze and not doing a pretty good job of it." The cameras span onto one of the many caverns that lead down to Hell. Torches line the walls. Dean rounds the corner and goes straight into a waiting pool of fire. "Ooo!" the host exclaims along with the crowd, most of whom are cheering. "That's gotta hurt!"
"Dean #5 thought he could get to Hell on the wings of an Angel." The camera moves to show Dean and Castiel kissing. "Oopsie! It looks like he forgot about our Master!" The host hits a button, and the clouds drop out from beneath Dean and Castiel. Castiel tries to fly but finds his wings have been clipped. As they spiral, screaming and cussing to the Earth, the camera shifts to another Dean. "That's the death penalty, folks, but where is our King tonight?"
The camera finds Crowley surrounded by three more Deans. Two are at either of his sides, caressing him, while the third is making his way up Crowley's body. "It looks like we have a winner, folks! Give it up for Dean #1!"
Crowley smiles just before Dean's lips find his in his lovely, and very realistic, self-induced hallucination. Of course they've got a winner. The King always wins! "It's good to be King," he murmurs and kisses his prize among roaring applause.