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Tobias' Bright Light

Title: Tobias' Bright Light
Author: Kat Lee
Dedicated To: Happy Birthday, llblckraincloud
Fandom: Animorphs
Character/Pairing: Tobias/Rachel
Rating: PG/K+
Warning(s): Character Death, AU Future Fic
Word Count: 1,015
Date Written: PG/K+
Summary:
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Applegate and Scholastic, not the author, and are used without permission.




He still feels her every time he soars high in the sky. He still fears her eagle's shadow caressing his feathers as he glides. If he listens to the wind, his head cocked to one side just right, he sometimes swears he can still hear her calling his name.

He hardly ever sees the others any more. Their work was completed yet ago and in no small part due to Rachel's sacrifice. The word spread quickly through the galaxy of how they, of all species, had finally defeated the Yeerks. No one's dared to mess with them since, so there's been little call for the Animorphs.

Cassie visits him most frequently. He'd thought she'd end up married to Jake and have as many children as she does animals, but she's devoted her life to caring for animals. He hasn't seen Jake since he was getting ready to graduate from the Military Academy. Marco is again trying to be life one big party, and no one knows what's happened to Ax. They've moved on with their lives and seem to have forgotten the past, but he can not.

He's forgotten a lot of his past. He's forgotten what it feels like to be human and walk on two legs. He's finally forgotten the names of the bullies who he dreaded encountering every day of his school life. He's forgotten the names of his parents even, but he can not forget her.

Sometimes he wants to. Sometimes he yearns to forget the pain. Sometimes he wants to forget how beautiful she was and how her smile made him feel so that he can forget what she looked like in those last few seconds as the Yeerks tore her apart and the look in her eyes when she spent her last breath trying to give him hope. There are days when he wants to be just a bird flying in the sky without a past and without any thoughts of a future that has absolutely nothing to offer him.

He wants to forget, but he can not. The world has already forgotten Rachel. Even her sisters have moved on with their lives. Although they still visit her grave, their visits come less and less now. He can smell their scents when they've been here, and they haven't been here for months. No one has except for him.

He reads the dates, because he still can. Sometimes he wonders if he's actually reading them, though, or just remembering the words and numbers they had inscribed into the headstone they erected for her. He got hit with a newspaper in the last storm. He could be wrong, but he couldn't read the headlines and doesn't think it was simply because the pages were soaked and the ink blurred.

Rachel, he reads. Courageous Friend. Brave Warrior. Bright Light. They had all worked together to honor her memory, but he had been the one to think up the last two words. It was easy to do, though, because there's how he had thought about her for years.

No matter how dark the fight got, no matter how bleak their chances of even survival, let alone winning, seemed, no matter how hopeless his lift as a trapped Animorph, she always found a way to give him hope. Often, it just took one meaningful smile from her, and he felt like flying again. Rachel had had that power over him. No one else before had, and no one else, he knows, ever will.

Rachel was his One, as the birds and other animals who mate only once in a lifetime think of their mate. She was the One who made him happy, the One who made him dare to love and fight. All that time, she was his reason for fighting. He certainly hadn't had any other reason to risk his life daily for a world that had never given him anything but heartache, but he'd done it because of her.

And because of her, he still lives now, years after she was taken from him, years after her light was taken from the world. He's had a longer life than most falcons. Some might think it a reason to celebrate, but he just wants it to be over. He just wants to be with her again.

His eyes scan over the dates through the tears filling his vision. It's been so very long, and here's another birthday without her light shining in the world. He doesn't even remember when his own birthday was, but he remembers hers. He'll always remember hers.

Tears falling from his eyes and sliding through his feathers, Tobias shakes his feathers and hops closer to the headstone. He leans up and presses his beak to her name.
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<happy [...] rachel,</i>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Title: Tobias' Bright Light
Author: Kat Lee
Dedicated To: Happy Birthday, <lj user="LlBlckRainCloud">
Fandom: Animorphs
Character/Pairing: Tobias/Rachel
Rating: PG/K+
Warning(s): Character Death, AU Future Fic
Word Count: 1,015
Date Written: PG/K+
Summary: <lj-cut text="She'll always be his bright light.">
Disclaimer: All characters within belong to Applegate and Scholastic, not the author, and are used without permission.




He still feels her every time he soars high in the sky. He still fears her eagle's shadow caressing his feathers as he glides. If he listens to the wind, his head cocked to one side just right, he sometimes swears he can still hear her calling his name.

He hardly ever sees the others any more. Their work was completed yet ago and in no small part due to Rachel's sacrifice. The word spread quickly through the galaxy of how they, of all species, had finally defeated the Yeerks. No one's dared to mess with them since, so there's been little call for the Animorphs.

Cassie visits him most frequently. He'd thought she'd end up married to Jake and have as many children as she does animals, but she's devoted her life to caring for animals. He hasn't seen Jake since he was getting ready to graduate from the Military Academy. Marco is again trying to be life one big party, and no one knows what's happened to Ax. They've moved on with their lives and seem to have forgotten the past, but he can not.

He's forgotten a lot of his past. He's forgotten what it feels like to be human and walk on two legs. He's finally forgotten the names of the bullies who he dreaded encountering every day of his school life. He's forgotten the names of his parents even, but he can not forget her.

Sometimes he wants to. Sometimes he yearns to forget the pain. Sometimes he wants to forget how beautiful she was and how her smile made him feel so that he can forget what she looked like in those last few seconds as the Yeerks tore her apart and the look in her eyes when she spent her last breath trying to give him hope. There are days when he wants to be just a bird flying in the sky without a past and without any thoughts of a future that has absolutely nothing to offer him.

He wants to forget, but he can not. The world has already forgotten Rachel. Even her sisters have moved on with their lives. Although they still visit her grave, their visits come less and less now. He can smell their scents when they've been here, and they haven't been here for months. No one has except for him.

He reads the dates, because he still can. Sometimes he wonders if he's actually reading them, though, or just remembering the words and numbers they had inscribed into the headstone they erected for her. He got hit with a newspaper in the last storm. He could be wrong, but he couldn't read the headlines and doesn't think it was simply because the pages were soaked and the ink blurred.

<I>Rachel,</I> he reads. <I>Courageous Friend. Brave Warrior. Bright Light.</I> They had all worked together to honor her memory, but he had been the one to think up the last two words. It was easy to do, though, because there's how he had thought about her for years.

No matter how dark the fight got, no matter how bleak their chances of even survival, let alone winning, seemed, no matter how hopeless his lift as a trapped Animorph, she always found a way to give him hope. Often, it just took one meaningful smile from her, and he felt like flying again. Rachel had had that power over him. No one else before had, and no one else, he knows, ever will.

Rachel was his One, as the birds and other animals who mate only once in a lifetime think of their mate. She was the One who made him happy, the One who made him dare to love and fight. All that time, she was his reason for fighting. He certainly hadn't had any other reason to risk his life daily for a world that had never given him anything but heartache, but he'd done it because of her.

And because of her, he still lives now, years after she was taken from him, years after her light was taken from the world. He's had a longer life than most falcons. Some might think it a reason to celebrate, but he just wants it to be over. He just wants to be with her again.

His eyes scan over the dates through the tears filling his vision. It's been so very long, and here's another birthday without her light shining in the world. He doesn't even remember when his own birthday was, but he remembers hers. He'll always remember hers.

Tears falling from his eyes and sliding through his feathers, Tobias shakes his feathers and hops closer to the headstone. He leans up and presses his beak to her name. <Happy Birthday, Rachel,</I> he thinks, though there's no one hear to him. <I>Happy Birthday. I miss you.</I>

He still doesn't say the words he longed so much to say back then. He doesn't tell her he loves her. What's the point? After all, she's not here to hear him, and besides, he knows she knew. She told him in her final, dying gaze, and she told him she loved him and to carry on, and so he does carry on, no matter how much he doesn't want to.

Once more today, he spreads his wings and takes to the sky, flying. He spends the day gliding and thinking of her. As the humans below go about the lives that they have because of her, he honors her. He lifts her memory to the beautiful sky and sings a song of heartbreak and love. And when the night comes and he tucks his head into his wing, he's still thinking of her as he whispers, <I>Happy Birthday, my Bright Light. I hope it was a happy one.</I>

He means it, too, though he knows it could not have been. She misses him as much as he misses her, but they will be together one day. That's the day he's living for, that and to honor her memory with every breath he has left.

The End</lj-cut>

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
llblckraincloud
Aug. 30th, 2016 01:01 am (UTC)
Awwww. The feels!!!! <3 Thank you so much!!!! This was beautiful.
katleept
Sep. 7th, 2016 08:20 pm (UTC)
So glad you enjoyed it! :)
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )

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